If Only
by Periwinkle4444
Summary: Remus has a dark secret, one that must be protected at all costs. Even if it means he must stay away from the girl he loves. But what if he just can't stay way? And what if that girl is Lily Evans? RL. Written PreDH, resulting in some discrepencies.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey people! This is my first fanfic, so be kind! This will sadden hard core James/Lilly fans but their relationship couldn't be perfect, so I decided to throw in little twist. Don't worry; I'll make sure the story coincides with the actual Harry Potter history, but not just yet. I was inspired by my friend ****ellamalfoy8****. Read her stories, they rock like there's no tomorrow!**

**Please review! I need to know if I should continue or bury this deep in the woods. (I'll probably continue for my own satisfaction but it would still be good to know what you think).**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! He was created by a frickin' genius, who I do not happen to be.**

**Damn.**

_Prologue_

Remus Lupin sighed. _She's so beautiful,_ he thought. His clear gray eyes were focused on a girl studying in the corner of the Gryffindor common room. Lily Evans tossed her head, her scarlet hair flashing in the firelight. He sighed again. He was supposed to be doing his homework for Charms, but Lily's scent was distracting him. Remus had a very sensitive sense of smell and when ever Lily was around, he couldn't concentrate. The smell of vanilla washed over him, making him swoon. _She'll never feel the same way about me._ His eyes hardened._ She can't._ Remus looked into the mirror hanging on the wall opposite him. His slight build was reflected there, as was his shy nature and the worry that always lurked in his eyes. Even at fifteen, his chestnut hair was streaked with gray, the result of a dangerous secret he could never let Lily know.

He was a werewolf. At the full moon, he changed into something so unlike himself, it scared him. Only the professors and his best friends knew his secret. If anyone else knew, he'd be shunned from school, declared dangerous. And he was. Remus knew that. When he changed, he didn't know the difference between friend and foe. Everyone and everything was prey to him. He couldn't put Lily in that kind of danger.

"Remus," Lily called, interrupting his thoughts, "Could you help me with our Potions homework?" Remus left his table, pleased to at least be able to justify helping her with schoolwork. _It won't hurt to help her with Potions,_ he thought.

"What do you need help with?" Remus asked.

Lily started to explain her problems with the trust potion they had worked on in class. Professor Slughorn had assigned a fourteen inch paper on the rules and regulations of that particularly dangerous concoction. Remus was only half-listening. His attention was diverted by Lily's amazing eyes. They were a magical kind of green that seemed to change according to her mood. Right now they were the sparkling green of dew-covered leaves. They glittered and twinkled in the flickering light of the fire, making Remus smile.

* * *

"… and the textbook says that Roberta Trilling wrote the regulations for the potion and … what are you smiling at?" Lily asked. Remus seemed to shake himself out of a daze.

"Nothing!" he said innocently and smiled again.

_He has very wolfish grin,_ Lily observed. She took a closer look at the boy standing in front of her. _He always looks like he's afraid he'll hurt someone. But I know he's to kind to harm anyone. _His hands were shoved into his pockets and he seemed almost nervous. His gray-streaked hair fell almost to his eyes, not quite covering the clear gray color that Lily loved so much. It matched his hair. Remus leaned down to read what she had already written on the parchment. His long fingers followed the flow of her handwriting and his lips softly mouthed the words on the page. Lily often wondered what it would be like to kiss those lips. _He's so shy though. I don't know if he'd kiss me back or run away._ There was also the matter of James. Remus was a very loyal friend. Lily glanced over at Remus's best friend. James sat with Sirius on the couch. James was reading from his Runes textbook. Sirius was flirting with a fourth year girl.

Lily knew the Marauders well. James was the leader, and definitely an interesting character. He had a very obvious crush on her, but hopefully it wouldn't last long because nothing would come of it. He could be cruel at times, making fun of those weaker than himself, and that made him someone Lily just couldn't see herself in love with. But Remus was different from his friends. He was quieter, gentler and sweeter than James, Sirius or Peter Pettigrew. He had a thousand different smiles that could make you laugh or cry. His eyes reflected his feelings as clearly as a mirror, so Lily could usually tell what he was thinking.

Remus was one of those people that you just knew if you spent enough time with them, you would fall head-over-heels in love with them.

Lily could feel herself starting to fall.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: This may or may not be short; we'll see when I'm done writing. Sorry if it is in fact short. I'll try and make this chapter interesting. Review and tell me if I succeeded.**

**P.S. Hi Ella! (Random shout outs are fun, tee hee.)**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! If I did, I would definitely be in the south of France, stuffing my face full of bread and cheese.**

**Mmmmmmmmm… Cheese…**

Chapter 1: Remus Hates His Friends 

Remus awoke in his dorm to the sounds of Christmas bells. The first snow had fallen and the students were celebrating. He threw on his robes, ran his fingers threw his hair and ran into the common room to find James and Sirius. Both were lounging on the couch, discussing the upcoming Gryffindor Christmas Party.

"Do you think Lily will go with me?" James asked Sirius.

"I don't think so, mate. But ask Remus," Sirius said, pointing to Remus over James's shoulder. "He's the head boy with her; maybe he knows something we don't."

Remus turned red as James twisted around to see him. He was head boy with Lily, which tended to be a sore spot with James. Remus got to spend a lot of alone time with Lily, something James craved very much.

"Well, Moony, what do you think? Do I have a chance with her?"

Remus's stomach knotted itself. Why did James have to love Lily? He was all wrong for her anyway. She would never go out with him. _Wait, why should I care who she goes out with? I don't have any claim to her. I should be happy for James._ Remus glanced over at the girl in question. Her pale complexion made the light dusting of freckles across her nose stand out. She noticed him looking at her and flashed a smile.

Remus felt his legs go numb.

She had that kind of affect on him.

"I don't know, James. She doesn't really seem to be particularly taken with you." Remus said, remembering a long discussion he had had with Lily, involving the defending of his friendship with James. James turned to face the fire, sulking. Sirius sat chewing on his lip for a minute, silently formulating a plan. Remus knew he was planning something. He always chewed on his lip when he was planning something.

"I know," he said finally. "Moony, would she go to the party with you?"

"WHAT?" Remus bellowed.

"If you asked Lily to the Christmas party, would she say yes?"

"I don't know! Maybe…"

"Ask her! Then, during the party, James can catch her under the mistletoe and work his magic, no pun intended."

"Sirius, you're a bloody genius!" James roared. He glanced over at Remus, who still had a look of horrified shock across his face. "Ask her after Charms," James instructed. "Then meet me at lunch and tell me how it went." He got up and started toward the crawl space that led out of the Gryffindor tower. He threw a "Good luck!" over his shoulder and then he was gone.

"Sirius, how could do that to me!" Remus shouted, turning to yell at his so called best friend. "What?" Sirius said with an indignant look. "All you have to do is ask her to the party and then give James some room. You'll be fine. It's not like _you_ have a crush on her." He got up and followed suit, leaving Remus in the tower.

_I hate my friends._ Remus thought savagely. Because of them, he couldn't pursue Lily on his own. And now because of them, he had to ask her out so that James could make his move. _My life sucks._

"Remus? Can I ask you a question?" a very familiar voice said behind him.

Remus whipped around, startled. _Oh God, Lily!_ She was standing right in front of him.

* * *

"Hey, Lily!" Remus squeaked. He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

It took a moment for Lily to continue her train of speech. She was stunned at how adorable Remus looked when he was surprised. His beautiful gray eyes were lit with the light pouring in from the window, early morning glare off the snow.

"I was just wondering, Remus, if… maybe you'd… like to go to the Christmas party with me tonight?" Lilly stammered nervously. _He'll never say yes._ She thought sadly.

"Go with _you_?" Remus asked in surprise. He looked stunned again. Then slowly, his eyes changed from stormy gray to the gray of the clouds just before dawn. He lips twitched into a grin.

"I'd love to, Lily."

Now it was Lily's turn to be shocked. She smiled too. _HE SAID YES!_


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yo! I'm listening to Rent right now. I LOVE THAT MOVIE! Later I will be playing a selection from the Lion King.**

**Disney is my life.**

**Anyway, it is officially Midterm Mango Monday (don't ask). I feel the need to express my love of mangoes through the days of the week.**

**For those of you wishing for a little magical mischief, I will be taking advantage of some potions and spells shortly, have no fear. This chapter will be shortish, but a longer one is coming up, I promise.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I really want to know what you think of the story. Feel free to suggest a direction for the story or even a plot line. I am open to suggestions.**

**REMUS AND LILY FOREVER!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! I wish desperately that I did, because then this story would not be fiction, IT WOULD BE TRUE! But sadly that is not the case so I am stuck doing my frickin' math homework. Anyway, onward with the story!**

_Chapter 2: Remus's Stupid Grin_

That same day, Remus sat down at lunch, a stupid grin set on his face.

"What did Lily say? Are you two going to the party together?" James asked desperately.

"Yeah, we're going together," Remus said dreamily. As soon as James heard the answer he wanted, he and Sirius continued to scheme and plan, leaving Remus alone in his daze.

_I'm going to the party with Lily Evans,_ he thought happily. The devastating effects of this fact had not yet sunk into Remus's mind. They were starting to seep through now.

_Shit! I'm going to the party with Lily Evans!_ Remus thought suddenly, jerking out of his dream world. _I'm going to the Christmas party with her, and I'll have to sit there and watch while James sweeps her off her feet!_

Poor Remus was having a very confusing day. One minute he was in ecstasy, the next in utter despair. He knew had feelings for Lily, feelings that were _very_ hard to ignore. But he also knew that he could not get involved with her. He had to save her from his secret; he had to keep her away from that part of his life and all the danger he could put her in. And there was also the fact that James, Remus's best friend, was irrevocably in love with her. Remus was a very loyal friend. If James wanted Lily, Remus would try desperately to back off. In fact, Remus had decided on numerous occasions to do just that. But then Lily would smile at him or accidentally touch his hand and Remus would feel his legs go numb again. He knew he had to get away from her and leave her alone, but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

The result of all these thoughts was a stalemate. Remus couldn't move forward because of James, but he couldn't step back because he couldn't leave Lily alone.

_Damn James!_ Remus thought savagely. Maybe if James backed off, Remus could find someway around the werewolf issue. But James would never give up on Lily. And James always got his way in the end.

As James and Sirius chattered on, Remus sat picking at his food, brooding.

* * *

Lily sat at a table the courtyard, watching Remus. He seemed to be concentrating obsessively on shredding his food to pieces. Suddenly, his looked up and stared strait at her. The intensity in his gray eyes scared her. _Is he trying to tell me something?_ Lily wondered frantically. Well, if he was, the message didn't get across. Remus stood up quickly, mumbled something to the Marauders and left the courtyard. _What was that about?_ Abruptly, someone interrupted Lily's wonderings, causing her to fall backwards off her seat. 

"Oh my God, are you okay?"

"Hi, Ella," Lily said smiling, recognizing the voice of her friend.

"Lily," Ella Dawson said, back to business now that she knew Lily was not seriously injured, "Are you going to the party tonight with Remus Lupin?"

_How did she find out?_ Lily wondered, as her friend helped her back into her seat. Ella loved to voice her opinions, good or bad. This was always a good quality to find in a friend, but Lily was scared of what Ella might think of Remus. She nodded an affirmative to Ella's question.

"I'm so proud of you!" Ella stated happily, her short, blond-streaked hair swaying with the breeze. "I was afraid you'd just go mooning over each other forever and never do anything about it!" She rolled her eyes, her impish grin lighting up her face.

"What are you talking about?" Lily said indignantly.

"I've always thought you two would make a great couple," Ella declared. "You two are perfect for each other. I used to think you'd match up well with James, but Remus is a much better guy for you. He's really quiet and kind. You need that."

_She's right. Remus is perfect for me,_ Lily thought with surprise. She thought about his kind eyes, clear like crystal. She thought about his long fingers, the gray-streaked hair that fell almost to his eyes, the curve of his lips when he smiled. His wolfish grin, his quiet nature, the way he curled the corner of the page when he read a book, all of that somehow fit into Lily's idea of the perfect person.

_Why did I never notice that before?_

* * *

Remus sat in the astronomy tower, having fled there after that moment during lunch when he'd looked straight into Lily's eyes. They had been an intense green, both light and dark, changing and sparkling in the late afternoon sun. He had felt her staring at him, and had felt something that had scared him out of his mind. He had felt a moment of complete wildness, a loss of control. He had felt like he was becoming a werewolf. He had left that instant, wishing the feeling away, and finally, it had subsided.

_That cannot happen around people, especially not around Lily._

That had never happened before. If Lily did that to him with one look, what would happen if she kissed him?

It took a moment for Remus to get back on track. The thought of kissing Lily had sent pleasant shivers up his spine.

The more Remus thought about Lily, the more he realized how perfect she really was. Her flaming hair and magical eyes made his heart beat loud in his ears. Her smile made him melt. Her crooked hand writing made him grin. Even when she was angry, she was beautiful. Her face got all flushed and her eyes sparkled as her words came flashing out like a whip, tearing to pieces anyone foolish enough to argue with her. He loved her passion and conviction, her need to make everything right. He loved everything about her.

_If only I could love her without worrying that I might kill her._

"Remus, what happened down there?" asked a voice.

Remus started and looked up at the approaching figure. Sirius had entered the tower. He strode over to where Remus sat and dropped down next to him. "Why did you leave lunch so quickly?" Sirius spoke with concern, his eyes full of worry.

"I… uh… didn't feel well," Remus answered truthfully.

"You sure that's all it was?" Sirius asked suggestively.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Remus said a little too quickly.

"All right, well, I've got to go do my Charms homework. I'll see you back in the dorm." He started to leave. But, as he reached the door, he turned and looked Remus in the eye.

"Remus, if you need to talk, I'm here." Then he quickly left.

Sirius wasn't good at moments.

"Thanks," Remus whispered and smiled.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, this is one of my favorite chapters. I've been wanting to write it for a while and now I finally get to. Yay! (It's really, really long.) So, you _have_ to review to tell me what you think.**

**REVIEW I TELL YOU!**

**Anyway, today I am sick, which sucks 'cause my play is on Friday.**

**We're totally screwed.**

**So instead of watching crappy day-time TV, I decided to write the next chapter in my lovely little drama. Hope you like it! Onward with the fiction!**

_Chapter 3: Mistletoe_

Remus waited at the bottom of the staircase, nervously wiping his sweaty palms on his dress robes. Lily was supposed to meet him there. James and Sirius were waiting with him, both nervous for different reasons. James kept shifting his weight from one side to the other, anxiously waiting to see the girl he intended to steal at the party. Sirius, on the other hand, was still, his black eyes fixed at the door where his date was to appear. Remus smiled. Sirius had asked Lily's friend Ella to the party, which had surprised him at first. Sirius usually went alone to these things and hooked up with who ever happened to catch his eye. But he had asked Ella to go with him, therefore committing to one girl. _That's going to be fun to watch,_ Remus thought. _Maybe Ella will finally be the one to tame Sirius._

"There she is, mate!" James whispered excitedly.

Remus quickly looked up and gasped. Lily was floating down the stairs, her fiery hair loose around her shoulders. It reached down to her slim waist, curling slightly at the ends. She wore a tight, knee length dress that showed off her figure. It was the same color as her eyes, a light bottle green that sparkled in the light from the chandelier above. Remus smiled slowly as he watched her long legs travel toward him. _She's beautiful._

"Wow," James whispered appreciatively.

"Hi, Remus," Lily said with a smile when she reached the boys.

"Hey, Lily," Remus breathed, still staring at his date.

Sirius interrupted anxiously. "Lily, is Ella ready yet?"

Lily smiled sympathetically. "Don't worry, Sirius, she'll be right down." Just then, they all heard a voice at the top of the stairs.

"Sirius?" Ella called.

Sirius's jaw hit the floor. Ella was gorgeous. She glided down the stairs in a slinky black dress. Silver bracelets clinked on her wrists and matching earrings dangled from her earlobes. A simple silver necklace adorned her neck. Black eyeliner made her hazel eyes stand out as they twinkled with Christmas joy. Or maybe it was just the sight of Sirius in his dress robes, hair washed and combed for a change, with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide with shock

Sirius attempted to answer Ella's greeting, but it took him a moment to stop staring at her. "Sirius, are you okay?" Ella asked, slightly worried. Sirius shook himself out of his daze. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said quickly. "Wow, Ella, you look amazing."

"Thanks," Ella replied happily. They smiled at each other, lost in their own little world.

James, Remus and Lily all viewed this with knowing glances at each other. Someone had finally gotten to Sirius.

"Well, shall we go?" James asked.

Everyone nodded their agreement and traveled as a group to the ballroom where the party was to be held. The room was decorated in reds and greens, with pine boughs and wreaths adorning the walls. Candles floated between the floor and the ceiling, shifting to accommodate the movements of the students already on the dance floor. On a table at one end of the room were refreshments, including a caldron of punch and a tray of tree-shaped cookies. A band was at the other end, cranking out a fast tune that everyone knew. Mistletoe hung in all the door ways, and there were plenty of secluded corners filled with couples taking advantage of the lack of chaperones.

Remus guided Lily to the dance floor and they were soon joined by Sirius and Ella. James chatted with some friends, waiting for the right moment to catch Lily alone. As soon as Remus and Lily set foot on the dance floor, the music changed to a slow song, the kind where couples danced close and whispered sweet nothings into the ears of their partner.

_Of course,_ Remus thought with a mental eye roll.

Lily and Remus stood there for a second, watching as Sirius and Ella found an empty space and started to dance. Ella had her arms around Sirius's neck and he was holding her close. Both smiled, happy to be together.

Remus decided to follow suit and led Lily to the center of the dance floor. She hesitated slightly, then smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. He put his hands around her waist and they started to sway to the music. Remus smiled. It was pure bliss to be holding Lily so close. Her head was resting on his shoulder and he could smell her hair. It was a scent like vanilla, but different. It was like vanilla and cinnamon and the color green all in one smell. It was wonderful.

He heard Lily sigh over his shoulder and he pulled her closer.

* * *

Lily could not have been happier. She was in Remus's arms and they were dancing together on Christmas Eve. _Thanks, Santa,_ she thought to herself with a grin. 

But then, of course, James decided to make his move. Half way through the song he made a bee line for Lily and tapped Remus on the shoulder.

"May I cut in?" He asked, already knowing the answer to his question.

"Sure," Remus answered gloomily after a moment's hesitation. He reluctantly pulled away from Lily, who was carefully hiding her devastation behind a mask of smiles. James took that welcoming grin as a signal and pulled Lily close. _Really_ close.

She swayed rigidly in time with the music, trying not to give James the wrong idea again. _Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, CRAP!_ She thought angrily as Remus refused to meet her eyes and as James continued to pull her closer and closer.

_God, does he have no self control?_ James had maneuvered his dance partner so that there was no space between them. Lily could feel his heart beating in his chest, he was so close. He started to whisper in her ear, something about catching the golden snitch in the last game just for her, but Lily wasn't really listening. She was trying to find Remus. _Where is he? He must have wandered off somewhere. God damn you, James!_ She thought vengefully. If it weren't for him and the god damn Quidditch game he kept going on and on about in her ear, she'd be with Remus right now, dancing in _his_ arms, instead of in the sweaty ones of this stuck up pig!

Finally, the song ended. Lily jumped away from James's grasp and went to find Remus, mumbling some excuse over her shoulder. As she searched, she managed to find Ella and Sirius. They were tucked into a corner, snogging like there was no tomorrow **(A/N: There Ella! Happy now?)**. Lily smiled at her friend. She knew she'd get the details later, whether she wanted them or not. Hopefully, Sirius hadn't stuck his tongue _too_ far down her throat.

Just as Lily was about to do another sweep of the room, she saw him. Remus stood leaning against the wall, just in front of the door frame. He stood there, glowering at the floor, arms crossed, brooding. Lily smiled with relief. At least he hadn't left. She strode over to him and called his name. He looked up, surprised.

"I thought you were with James," he said, astonished.

"I was," Lily replied. "And now I'm with you."

"But I thought you would _stay_ with James," Remus answered back, still very confused.

"Look, I don't want to stay with him, but if you don't want me around, I'll just leave," Lily said, sounding hurt.

"NO! I didn't mean it that way! I just meant that I thought you would _want_ to stay with James. He's a much better dancer than I am." Remus put his hands by his side and stared at them, guiltily glad to hear his friend's plan had failed.

"Remus, I asked you to the party because I wanted to go with _you_, not James," Lily informed him with a gentle smile. She placed her hands on top of his. "And you dance brilliantly."

"Lily," Ella called. She and Sirius had finally come up for air and had spotted something that interested them. Lily looked at her friend. Her lip gloss was smeared and her hair was disheveled. Both she and Sirius had the stupidest grins on their faces.

"Look what you and Remus are standing under," Ella said in a sing-song voice.

Both Remus and Lily quickly looked up.

_You've got to be kidding me._

Some how, during their conversation, the pair had shifted themselves to a position directly under the mistletoe hanging from the door frame.

* * *

Remus looked at Lily. _Should I kiss her?_ He wondered anxiously. He desperately wanted to, but there were repercussions that had to be thought about. What should he do? 

"Come on Remus, you know what you have to do," Ella said, egging them on.

Remus looked into Lily's beautiful green eyes. He saw something there that gave him courage. _Well, here goes nothing._ He slowly leaned down and touched his lips to hers.

* * *

Lily closed her eyes and kissed his back. It was a perfect kiss. His hands slowly came to her waist and pulled her toward him. Her hands found themselves around his neck. _Nothing could possibly ruin this moment,_ she thought dreamily, _except…_

"What the fucking hell are you doing with my girl!" James yelled from somewhere nearby.

Remus broke the embrace, turning toward the sound. That was a big mistake. James landed a right hook straight into his eye. He stumbled back as pain exploded in his head. James jumped on him, and kept landing punches, not even aiming. Remus fought back, landing a few punches of his own.

"JAMES, REMUS, STOP IT! STOP IT!" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs as she hauled James off Remus. Sirius grabbed him and held him back. Lily was furious.

"_YOUR _GIRL?" She yelled. "JAMES, WE ARE NOT DATING! AND DESPITE ANY DELUSIONS YOU MAY HAVE, I AM _NOT_ IN LOVE WITH YOU! IF REMUS IS YOU BEST FRIEND AND YOU TREAT HIS LIKE _THIS_," she indicated the black eye that was starting to form and the many rips and tears in Remus's dress robes, "THAN I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU! SO JUST BACK OFF AND LEAVE ME THE FRICKIN' HELL ALONE!"

She grabbed Remus's hand. "Come on, we're leaving," she said with contempt thick in her voice.

* * *

"Remus, are you okay?" Lily was dabbing at various cuts back in the common room, using a few healing spells she had learned from Madam Pomfrey.

"Lily, I'm fine. But are you okay?" Remus said with concern, "You're shaking."

It was true, Lily was shaking, but not from fear. She was pissed. She had never been so angry in her life. James was such an asshole! He didn't own her and he had no right to as though he did.

"Lily, I'm sorry about what happened. I shouldn't have kissed you," Remus was staring at his feet, his grey streaked hair covering his eyes.

"No, Remus," Lily put one hand under his chin and forced him to raise his head. She looked him in the eye, "I'm glad you did."

Then she stood on her tip toes and pulled him to her, kissing him gently. When they parted Remus looked at her, his gray eyes happy but slightly shadowed with worry. Then, his eyes cleared and he silently leaned down to kiss her back.


	5. Mini Chapter 35

**A/N: This is a mini chapter dedicated to ellamalfoy8. Read her stuff, it rocks! Ella, this is the chapter you wanted from Sirius's point of view.**

**I'm going to have so much fun with this.**

**Oh, by the way, I'd like to have little talk with you (Ella) right now. Everyone else can just skip this part. ELLA, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THOSE GOD DAMN TEASERS! I HATE YOU! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT LAST ONE? I WILL KILL YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME! DIE, DIE, DIE!**

**O.K. I'm done now. See you in Algebra, Ella!**

**As for the rest of you, enjoy the fiction!**

**P.S. I'm workin' on Chapter 4. It will be posted within the week :)**

_Mini Chapter 3.5: Sirius Has Been Tamed_

Sirius was head over heels in love. The girl he had been with all night was just leaving. She turned at the door and smiled at him, her hazel eyes sparkling. "Night, Sirius," she whispered, her voice husky. Then she turned and walked out the door, leaving him alone in the Astronomy tower, sitting on the floor.

He sighed, thinking of the night he had just had. The party had been great up to a point. After dancing, he and Ella had pretty much stayed in a corner of the room, snogging until the fight broke out. Sirius's brow wrinkled with worry. He was going to have to do some major damage control in the morning. He had left his friend in the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. James had been alternating between turning into a stag and putting holes in the wall and pacing on human feet, screaming at the ceiling. Sirius had spelled a coin in his pocket to vibrate if James came with in forty feet of Remus. That way, he could show up and separate the two before it got too ugly. He had then promptly returned to Ella and they had picked up where they left off.

Sirius now turned his thoughts to his new girlfriend. She was different from the other girls he had dated. She was funny and smart and pretty, but what made her special was that she made him care. When Sirius dated a girl it was usually just so he could shag her later on. He had a strict Don't Get Attached policy. But Ella made him forget that completely. She made him savor every moment he had with her. Ella fascinated him. She had these amazing hazel eyes that changed with the light. They could be olive green one minute and a muddy brown the next. She also liked to change her hair. It had originally been a dark, shiny brown, but over the years she had streaked it many colors, including hot pink. Now, she had changed it to blonde and Sirius loved it.

Sirius could remember the first time he had ever seen her. Ella was a rare case. She had joined the school in Sirius's fifth year. He had met her after she had been sorted and had just sat down at the table for the feast. She had seated herself across from him. Sirius had stared, captivated by the pink hair and impish grin. Whenever Ella smiled, she always looked like she was up to no good.

Sirius had spent the next few months getting to know Ella. He spent time with her, discovering her likes and dislikes and adjusting his flirtations to her tastes. Finally, he had asked her to the Christmas party and had gotten a whole hearted yes. He had succeeded in making Ella his own.

Sirius smiled. He stood up and headed back to the Gryffindor Tower. As he made his way through the cold halls he remembered the feeling of Ella's warm body in his arms, her lips on his. Sirius sighed. _Wow_, he thought._ As cheesy as it sounds, I miss her already_.

He whispered the password to the portrait guarding the door and, after apologizing profusely for waking the poor painting up at such a late hour, he entered the common room. The fire had burned down to embers and the room was empty. Sirius went into his dormitory and collapsed on the bed, still smiling.

He closed his eyes and saw Ella's face, a smile across her face too, her eyelids heavy with sleep. _Night, Ella. I love you._


	6. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello, people of the world!**

**I have no idea where this chapter is going to end up. I'm kinda just writing and putting off my math homework. I'm also playing random country songs and later I will probably play a selection of show tunes and maybe some Aerosmith.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I really want to know what you think. Tell me if you like where this is going or if you want my plot lines to burn. LET ME KNOW!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! If I did, I would not be forced to clean my room. I believe if I can see a section of the floor, the room is clean, but my mother does not agree with me on this particular point. growls at the parental unit**

_Chapter 4: Good Night_

Lily laid wake in her dormitory, grinning like an idiot. She had been reflecting on the night's events, especially those concerning Remus. She remembered his strong arms holding her close, the warmth of his body as he kissed her. Pleasant shivers traveled up her spine. She sighed happily.

The door of the dormitory opened and shut quietly. A figure stumbled around in the dark and finally collapsed on the bed next to Lily. Lily sat up, startled at first, then worried.

"Ella, where the hell have you been?" she whispered urgently. Ella grinned. Her hair was in disarray and she was missing an earring. "I was with Sirius," she stated dreamily. "God, he is a _fantastic_ kisser."

"You've been snogging him all night?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. After you and Remus left, Sirius took James somewhere safe and made him cool off. Then he took me to the astronomy tower. You know, he did the most amazing thing with his tongue-"

"I DON'T NEED THE DETAILS, ELLA!" Lily interrupted quickly. Ella tended to get a little too descriptive. "Look, I need your help with Remus."

"Sure, what's the problem?" Ella asked, oblivious of the dilemma her friend now had to face.

Lily stared at her. "What do you mean 'What's the problem'? Were you not conscious for the whole mistletoe scene? Remus kissed me, because you happened to mention the fact that we were standing under the mistletoe. Thanks for that, by the way. Anyway, James almost killed him because of it. What am I supposed to do about that pig-headed Potter?"

"Lily, that's not a problem." Ella said. "Listen, would you be willing to live without Remus?"

Lily remembered the feel of his lips on hers, the look in his gentle gray eyes when he held her, the flutter of her heart when he smiled.

"I wouldn't give him up for the world," she said honestly.

"Then you have your answer. If you really care about each other, you'll find a way around James." _Wow_, Lily thought. _It's a frightening world when Ella is the voice of reason_.

"Now, tell me what happened after you two left the party!" Ella said excitedly, leaning in for the details.

* * *

_Lily was in his arms, her head resting on his chest. "Remus, I love you," she whispered contentedly. They were lying on the couch, both smiling and both happy. "I love you too, Lily," Remus murmured, finally telling his long kept secret. He hugged her tighter, feeling her warmth. She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling. Then she reached up and cupped his face with one hand, stroking his cheek with her thumb. He smiled, savoring her touch._

_Suddenly, James appeared out of nowhere, eyes wild. He shouted, "Avada Kedavra!" aiming the curse at Remus. Lily shouted and twisted around to intercept the deadly beam of magic. It hit her and she instantly went limp in Remus's arms._

Remus awoke shouting, "Lily, no!" He found himself in his dormitory, alone. _It was just a dream. Just a dream_, he thought, attempting to ease his nerves. After a few minutes, he was able to lie down again without shaking. Remus tried to get back to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw James's sneering face and Lily's lifeless form. Finally, he rose from his bed, grabbed his book and moved into the common room. He was about to sit in a comfortable chair and read, when he noticed who was lying on the couch.

"Hey, Lily," he said softly.

* * *

Lily looked up tiredly from the couch and smiled. "Hey, Remus," she answered. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep. You?"

"Ella wouldn't stop grilling me about tonight, so I decided sleep out here." She tried to stifle a very large yawn, but failed miserably. Her eyelids drooped sleepily. Remus chuckled.

"I'll tuck you in." He grabbed a warm quilt from a pile in the corner and brought it over to Lily. She was in her pajamas, a simple cotton t-shirt and pajama bottoms. He draped the blanket over her and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Would you like me to sing you to sleep?" Remus offered. Lily rolled over and curled into a ball. "I'd like that," she whispered as her eyes closed. Remus sat on the section of the couch that was not taken up by Lily's person. He softly started to croon a lullaby.

Lily smile as she drifted off. Remus had a beautiful voice. As he sang, Remus took a hold of Lily's hand and stoked the back of it with his thumb. His voice told a story, coloring it with deep baritone sounds. He sang of beauty and love and a dark night sky full of stars. He sang of candles and light and a river flowing on and on. He sang of wolves and the moon and a single teardrop in the night. Soon Lily was asleep, Remus's song coming to life in her dreams.

* * *

When Remus finished the song, he smiled at the sleeping figure next to him. Lily's hair was fanned out across the pillow, her lips slightly parted. Remus gave her hand one last squeeze and released it, satisfied that she was fast asleep. He stood and crossed to his chair, prepared to read the night through. He was just in the middle of the Trojan War when he heard a deep rumbling from the couch. It was as if a mountain troll was tearing through the room.

_Good Lord_, he thought with a laugh. _She snores!_

* * *

The next day, the students awoke to desperate screams. It seemed that James had decided to take his frustration out on Severus Snape, his personal favorite of the Slytherin scum. Severus was dangling from the Whomping Willow. He was thrashing about, causing the tree great distress. It proceeded to beat the crap out of him, resulting in many cuts and bruises for poor Severus. When the professors finally got him down, it was discovered that he had four broken ribs, one fractured arm and a multitude of welts all over his person. He claimed that Potter had hung him from the tree, but unfortunately could not prove it, so James got off without so much as a warning. Severus vowed revenge. No one took it seriously. If they had, it might have saved them a lot of heartache.

**A/N: REVIEW! I COMMAND YOU!**

**Next chapter is going to be fun. Severus is going to be a _very_ bad boy and will misuse his potions book. Can you guess which potion he uses? Here's a little teaser just for you (know my pain Ella!):**

**Lily pushed Remus into a chair and straddled him. She kissed his neck and started to work her way down his body.**

"**Lily," Remus asked nervously, "what are you doing?"**

"**Come on, Remus, you know you want to," she whispered huskily in his ear as her fingers started to unbutton his jeans.**

**A FEW SECOND LATER:**

"**Remus, I just wanted to say… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!"**

**That's right, Ella. Suffer like you made me suffer!**

**See y'all next time :)**


	7. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey, readers! This is possibly one of my favorite chapters. I will definitely make it long to make up for all the short stuff.**

**Finally, I get to misuse the potions book!**

**I'd like to give a shout out to Ella's mom. Hi, Mrs. Dawson! I hope you don't think I'm some weird stalker that's having your daughter make out with random bad boys in my fanfic. SHE MADE ME DO IT! Also, forgive any cursing you do not approve of. James cannot control himself when he is upset. If you have any complaints, please tell Ella and I'm sure she will pass the message on to me.**

**As for the rest of you, this is the part that you got a little sampling of last time. I know. I'm evil (you're right, Ella, teasers _are_ fun!)**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I really want to know what you think.**

_Chapter 5: New Year's Eve_

James was pissed off. His best friend had stolen his girl and Sirius wouldn't let him kill him. What was he supposed to do? Let the little traitor get away with it? Sirius clearly did not understand the situation.

"Look, Prongs, I know you're angry. You feel hurt and betrayed," Sirius said.

Okay. Maybe he did understand.

"But you can't hate Remus forever. He's been one of your best friends since you were a first year. You can't give that up over a girl, even if she is Lily Evans," he said, finally beginning to act like his name. James had not spoken to Remus for almost a week and had damaged quite a lot of personal property in that time. Sirius was sick of it. "Besides, Prongs. They were standing under the mistletoe. He _had_ to kiss her."

_Maybe Padfoot is right_, James thought, the murderous intentions slowly draining away. After all, they _had_ been standing under mistletoe. Maybe Remus had only been following tradition. Yeah, that had to be it. Remus had only kissed Lily because he didn't want to embarrass her in front of the whole house. He hadn't meant anything by it! James felt guilt replace the anger he had carried around since the Christmas party. He had been so hurtful to Remus, hadn't spoken to him or even looked at him for days! He had to apologize.

"You're right, Padfoot. I'll talk to him at the New Year's Eve party tonight," James promised.

Serious was still suspicious. "You swear you won't kill him?"

"I swear."

* * *

Severus stood over a bubbling caldron, his thin lips set in a malicious sneer. _This will show Potter,_ he thought gleefully. He threw in a few hippogryph feathers, stolen from Professor Slughorn's private supply of potion ingredients. Severus let the mixture brew until the last ingredient had disappeared into the sickening green liquid. Then he took a ladle and spooned some of the concoction into a vial. The potion would dissolve in any food or drink. It was odorless and tasteless. It would also make who ever swallowed it filled with desire for the first person they saw. Severus's wicked smile widened. _She'll never know what hit her_.

* * *

The New Year's Eve Party was much less formal than the Christmas celebration. Remus was standing in the corner, hoping James wouldn't find him. He had only gone to party because Lily had made him promise he would. _Maybe I'll get to kiss her at midnight_, he thought excitedly. Then his thought turned to Prongs. _But then, James might slug me again._ He was leaning casually against the wall, in jeans and a warm, tight-knit, gray sweater. He hoped no one would notice him and that he could avoid James, but, Lily found him before he could escape.

"Remus, you came!" she exclaimed.

He smiled. She looked gorgeous in a red halter top and black jeans. Her hair was up in a ponytail and small locks of her flame like hair had been left out to frame her face. A goblet of pumpkin juice was in her hand. "Of course I came. I promised didn't I?" He reminded her. She beamed, her face glowing with happiness. They continued to talk, discussing anything and everything. Lily set her drink on a nearby table to allow herself enough free motion to gesture as she talked. She was half Italian.

Unfortunately, Severus Snape had been waiting for that. He silently sidled up next to the table and slid the vial of potion from his pants pocket. He uncorked the vial and poured the mixture into the juice. It turned an… _interesting _shade of green and then returned to normal. Severus smiled unpleasantly and left. The fireworks would start soon.

* * *

Remus was in complete bliss. Lily was describing her summer plans. She wanted to go to Switzerland. James was no where in sight. _Maybe tonight won't be so bad,_ he thought hopefully. Lily grabbed her drink and swallowed what was left.

* * *

Lily set her goblet down a little too hard. She put her hand to her head and closed her eyes. _Wow, I feel really dizzy,_ she thought.

"Lily, are you okay?" Remus asked worriedly. The girl opened her eyes and everything changed.

"Yeah, Remus, I'm fine." She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the center of the room, battering her eyes flirtatiously. "Come on, let's dance."

* * *

Lily was definitely different. She was really enthusiastic about this dance. In fact, she was grinding him and flirting shamelessly. _I've never seen this side of her before,_ Remus thought wonderingly. Lily's cheeks were flushed and as she danced, she made sure Remus had a good view of her bum at all times. When she talked, it was in a very suggestive tone. _James would have a fit if he could see this,_ he thought with a slight shudder. Lily gazed up at him from under long eyelashes. "Come with me, Remus," She commanded. "I want to show you something."

She grabbed his arm and dragged him into a small room of the main party area. It was dimly lit and held only a few chairs and a double bed. Lily led Remus to the center of the room and snaked her arms around him. Remus looked into her eyes. There was a flicker of something that he had never seen before. It scared him. Lily leaned forward and kissed him. Her tongue found its way down his throat. He pulled away, surprised. What was Lily doing?

Lily pushed Remus into a chair and sat in his lap, straddling him. She kissed his neck and started to work her way down his body.

"Lily," Remus asked nervously, "what are you doing?"

"Come on, Remus, you know you want to," she whispered huskily in his ear as her fingers started to unbutton his jeans.

* * *

James couldn't find Remus. He had come late to the party and had missed most of the fun. After asking around, James found someone who had seen Remus go into a small side room and he walked in, determined to make things right between them.

"Remus, I just wanted to say… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!"

Unfortunately, James happened to walk in just at the moment where we last found Remus and Lily. Lily was attempting to undress Remus, while Remus was still trying to process this new personality Lily seemed to have obtained. When James entered the room, both looked up, one with horror across his face, the other with anger. Lily hated being interrupted. Remus stood up quickly, dumping Lily on the floor. She picked herself up as Remus fumbled to zip his pants.

"James, what are you doing here?" Lily asked with contempt and hatred thick in her voice. "Can't you see Remus and I are a little busy?"

"Busy? You're _busy_?" James could not believe what was happening. Remus was his best friend and he had been sitting in a chair with Lily Evans in his lap. Homicidal thought began to once again fill James's mind. "Remus, I was _going_ to apologize to you, but now, I'm going to _kill you_!" James leaped onto his friend and started to beat the shit out of him. Remus tried to fight back, but James had already kicked him in the head one to many times and Remus was a little disoriented. After a few useless punches, he gave up and just laid there, his arms protecting his head. Lily screamed for help and Sirius answered. He had been waiting close by with Ella, sure that James would snap. He rushed in and tried to grab James, but Prongs turned on him. James swung a right hook and nailed Sirius in the eye, then returned to kicking Remus. Sirius staggered back, pain exploding in his head.

"JAMES, GET THE FUCK OFF REMUS AND DON'T HIT MY BOYFRIEND!" Ella yelled from the doorway. She marched in and threw the brawling pair apart. Then she stalked over to the disheveled James. Ella punched him in the mouth and then kneed him in a very sensitive area. James groaned and slumped against the wall. Ella kicked him in the shin for good measure.

With James out of commission for the moment, Ella rushed over to Sirius. "You okay?" she asked, worry in her eyes as she helped him sit in a chair. "Yeah, I'm fine," Sirius assured her. He glanced over at James and smiled. "Remind me not to get on your bad side, okay?" Ella smiled. James continued to groan in the background.

As soon as James hit the wall, Lily made her way to Remus. He lay on the ground, moaning and trying to push his broken rib back into place. She knelt down and caressed his face, her gentle fingers running over many bruises and scratches. Remus looked up at her. She was still not herself. Her eyes still held that unfamiliar spark, which Remus now recognized as lust. As if to prove this, Lily kissed him, using a little more tongue than necessary.

"Want to pick up where we left off?" she whispered.

_What the hell has gotten into her?_ Remus wondered with disgust. _James almost tried to kill me and all she can think about is getting me into bed!_ Remus shook his head. He wanted Lily, but not this way. He didn't want just a one night stand. Remus wanted to love Lily and for her to love him. He also knew that Lily wanted that to.

"No, Lily, I don't want to pick up where we left off! This is not you! Something has happened to you and I don't like it. You're under some kind of spell or something and we need to fix it," he said as he stood up. Lily rose with him, her eyes turning to ice.

"I know you don't want this to happen this way. If you were thinking clearly, you wouldn't be doing this! Please," he was pleading with her now, "let me help you." Everyone was listening now (except James. He was still lost in his own world of pain) and everyone nodded in agreement. Lily looked around and saw this. Her face set in an angry scowl. She took one last look around the room and then bolted.

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"

Lily froze. Remus looked in the direction of the voice and saw Ella with her wand out. She glanced at the flabbergasted (**A/N: I've always wanted to use that word!**) boys that surrounded her. "Well, don't just stand there," she ordered. "Carry her to the dormitory. I think I know what spell she's under."

To shocked to argue, Sirius and Remus each grabbed one end of Lily and started toward the stairs. James silently followed with a very pronounced limp.

* * *

"It's a desire potion," Ella explained to the Marauders in the common room. They had reversed the charm Ella had cast and had then tied Lily to her bed. Sirius had placed a sleeping spell on her. She would wake up in the morning and, hopefully, everything would be back to normal.

"You see, it makes whoever drinks it filled with desire for the first person they see," Ella continued. "Someone must have slipped it into her drink." James glared at Remus, silently accusing him of trying to take advantage of Lily. Remus glared back. "It wasn't me, James! I wouldn't do that to her!" he yelled. James just rolled his eyes and stared at the wall. Remus started to rise to challenge James, and winced at his newly healed rib. Ella had worked healing charms on everyone, but his broken bone still hurt. Sirius saw that Remus had had it with James and put a hand on his shoulder. "Let it go, Remus," he warned.

"No! I'm sick of this. James, if you have something to say, just say it. Don't go giving me the silent treatment. What's your problem?"

James stood and turned to his friend. "All right, Remus. I'll tell you. I'm sick of you always being with Lily. You're head boy with her, you're her study buddy, you go to parties together. And then I find her sitting in your lap, unzipping your pants! She's _my_ crush! Why are you always around her? Why won't you leave her alone? _She's mine!_" James was yelling now, his voice cracking with passion.

Remus looked down at the table and shook his head. "She's not yours, James," he whispered forcefully. He looked up and gazed at Prongs, his eyes turning hard. "And she never will be."

Silence now filled the room. The truth was finally out. Remus loved Lily and he would not give her up without a fight.

Ella was the first to speak. "Okay, I respect the fact that you two have some issues to work out, but this display of manhood will have to wait until Lily is awake. The potion will wear off by morning and _then_ you two can stake your claims on her. Until then I suggest you both get some sleep." This last sentence was said not as a suggestion but as an order. Remus and James both gave a final glare and left the room. Sirius turned to Ella, gave her a kiss and a quick good night and followed his friends. He needed to be there in case they decided to duel over Lily.

Ella sighed and walked in to the girls' dormitory. Lily was on her bed, sleeping soundly. _If only she knew how much trouble she caused,_ Ella thought tiredly. _I just can't wait until she wakes up and we have to deal with Remus and James all over again._ With that she flopped down onto her bed. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

* * *

**A/N: Yes. I know. I'm brilliant. Hope you liked it!**

**REVIEW! I COMMAND YOU!**

**I'm sure you all enjoyed Lily's slutty side. And for those of you who can't read, yes, Remus did just admit that he's in love with Lily. Unfortunately, she was not conscious at the time and didn't hear it. Oh well! I'm sure Ella will fill her in :) I don't have a teaser for you today, but I can give you a general direction. Very soon, it will be Remus's time of the month (you all know what I mean). Lily might find out his little secret. Or not…**

**Bye, Mrs. Dawson!**


	8. Chapter 6

**A/N: Bonjour, mes amis. Comment ca va? Moi, je suis tres bien.**

**For all of you non-French speakers out there that basically means "Hey, my brothers and sisters, how goes life? I'm doin' great." There's supposed to be 2 accents in there to, but I couldn't figure out how to make my computer do that, so just pretend they're there.**

**This chapter's gonna be complicated. I've gotta do some Remus and James stuff, some Remus and Lily stuff and some James and Lily stuff and maybe I'll throw Sirius and Ella in there too. Who knows?**

**By the way, I'M ON VACATION! So, since we're going to Vermont and I don't ski, I will be filling my time with plenty of books and plenty of writing. Also, be prepared for some new characters. My non-writer friends want to get in on the action (Ella can't have all the fun!) so I'm gonna throw them in somewhere. A brief shout out to them (Erica, Kate, Kristyn, Morgan and Alexa: salut and yola, my peeps). Also, a hello to Ella and her mom. And all of you other people who read my stuff :)**

**I'm gonna stop rambling now. Read and the REVIEW! I want to hear from you!**

_Chapter 6: We Need To Talk_

Lily rolled over in her bed and groaned. She had a horrible headache. It felt like someone had hit her in the head with a cauldron. Lily could feel light pressing against her closed eyelids through the one hole in the curtains. It always seemed to focus its beam of light on Lily. The girls in the dorm believed it hated her. Lily squeezed her eyes tighter and tried to go back to sleep. She floated in between dreams and wakefulness, trying to remember the night before. Only bits and pieces surfaced, some a little more disturbing than others. _What did I do last night?_ She thought, frightened.

"Wake up, my little sunflowers!" a voice called cheerily from across the room. Kate threw the curtains open, filling the room with golden sunshine. All the girls screamed and threw their pillows at Kate.

"The light, it burns!" shouted Kristyn as she buried her head under her covers.

"Kate, I'm going to kill you," Erica threatened, groping for her wand.

_Ugh,_ Lily thought as Morgan and Alexa pelted Kate with what ever was in reach. _Why does Kate have to be a morning person?_ Kate was one of Lily's friends. She was one of those people who woke up early in the morning and embraced the new day. Lily had never understood that about her friend.

"Come on, guys, you have to get up sometime," Kate said reasonably as she dodged Morgan's ammunition with practiced speed.

Lily grumbled and proceeded to drag herself from her bed. Kate was right. She did have to get up. She had to talk to Remus about last night.

* * *

Remus sat in the common room, his arms and legs sprawled across a chair. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night. He knew if he slept, James would kill him while he was unconscious, so he had stayed up as late as possible. Remus sighed. Everything was a mess. James hated him, Sirius didn't know what to think and Lily probably thought _he_ had slipped that potion into her drink just so he could sleep with her. The only sane one in the whole situation was Ella and that was a scary thought indeed. _What am I going to do?_ He thought despairingly.

"Remus?" a voice called. He snapped around and saw Lily walking toward him. She sat on the couch and looked up at him. "I think we need to talk."

"About last night?" Remus inquired sheepishly.

"Yeah, about last night. What happened? It's a little fuzzy for me."

Remus gulped and tried his best to explain. Lily listened and slowly got redder and redder. Remus just stared at the floor and talked. When he finished, they sat in silence as Lily tried to process what had occurred the night before. Remus watched her carefully. Her eyes were large with surprise and her mouth hung open with shock at her actions. _If only she knew the whole story,_ Remus thought. He still had not told her about the talk he and James had had. He didn't know how to tell her. The night of the Christmas Party, they had spent the night snogging and cuddling. It was then that Remus had realized how much he truly loved her. He loved everything about her from her red-headed temper to her rumbling snores. He just wasn't sure if she felt the same.

* * *

Lily was in shock. Last night had been worse than she thought. _Who the hell slipped me that potion?_ She thought vengefully. Whoever it was, they would suffer. Pushing aside plans of revenge for the moment, Lily turned her thoughts to Remus. _God, he must think I'm a total slut!_ This was bad, very bad. Lily glanced up at Remus and saw that he was staring at her.

* * *

Remus quickly looked away. Something was wrong. A strange feeling was spreading from his stomach. It was just like that time at lunch. _Uh oh,_ he thought. "Remus," Lily started. "I'm really sorry about what happened. I'm sorry about the way I acted, the way James acted. I need talk to him about that-"

Unprovoked anger flared at the thought of James. Remus tried to hold in the explosion he knew was coming and failed. "I don't want you to talk to him!" he yelled. "I don't want you going _near_ him! He's a bloody git ..."

* * *

Lily was taken aback. Remus continued to shout threats at James and then started screaming at her. She stared at him, appalled. Remus stood up and started pacing the room, yelling and shouting, gesturing wildly. His eyes flashed, two pools of inky black.

"Remus," Lily shouted back, standing up. "Why are you yelling at me?"

All the anger seemed to drain out of him. He stopped pacing. His arms dropped to his sides. "Oh no!" he whispered, and bolted.

Lily just stood there, still trying to understand what had just happened.

* * *

_Shit,_ Remus thought, pacing once again in the deserted astronomy tower. _That was close. Too close_. He shook his head, cursing himself for forgetting. Tonight was the night of the full moon. Unfortunately, Remus tended to get a little… _testy_ the day he became a werewolf. His eyes turned black, his teeth became sharp, he had these uncontrollable cravings for raw meat- it was bad. Usually, he would be in the Shrieking Shack by now, safe from hurting people, but the whole Lily business had made him forget. Remus knew he had to get to the Shack before someone else made him angry and he did something he would regret. He slowly descended the stairs that led to the hallway and cautiously ran from the door to the Whomping Willow. Remus dodged the flailing branches and slipped into the secret passage that led under the ancient tree. Only when he was safely in the Shrieking Shack did he turn his thoughts to Lily. _Great,_ he thought with exasperation. _She must think I'm bipolar or something!_

* * *

Lily dropped her tray on the table and sat down across from James. "What is going on with Remus?" she asked.

Her friends stared at her. "What are you talking about?" Sirius asked nervously. What had Remus done? Lily recounted the events that had occurred that morning. Sirius and James traded glances, knowing full well what was going on. James decided to fill Lily in on the situation.

"… and he hasn't been in any of his classes! What is wrong with him?" Lily finished.

"Well, Lily," James said. "It's really all quite simple. You see, our beloved Remus is a were-"

"-aware that the way he treated you this morning was shameful and is currently trying to think of a proper apology." Sirius interrupted hurriedly.

"How nice of him," Lily said. _Sirius is a really bad liar,_ she thought. She didn't believe a word he said.

"Yeah, isn't it? James, I think we'd better go. You need to help me with that… umm… thing, remember?" Sirius didn't wait for an answer. He grabbed James by the collar and dragged him out of the courtyard. Lily looked at Ella, who shrugged and continued to consume her sandwich. _Something's going on here and I'm going to find out what it is,_ Lily vowed.

* * *

Sirius slammed James into the wall of the Shrieking Shack. He had dragged James there, as it was the only place where no one could interrupt them. "What the hell were you thinking? You can't tell Lily Moony's secret!" he yelled. Sirius was both horrified and hurt that James would even think of revealing Remus's furry little problem. Friends didn't do that to each other, no matter what.

"She has a right to know!" James yelled back, attempting to justify his crime. He pushed Sirius off and stood there, waiting.

"No," Sirius said angrily. "She doesn't. Not unless Remus wants her to know. And _if_ he wants her to know, _he_ should be the one to tell her, not you." James just shook his head. "You don't understand, Padfoot. _He's trying to take her from me._ I can't just let him get away with that!"

Sirius took a step back, shocked by his friend's words. "Prongs, listen to yourself! Remus is not your enemy and Lily is not your property! Are you honestly going to let a girl get between you and one of your best friends?"

"She's not just any girl, Padfoot," James said seriously. "I love her." He started walking up and down the decrepit room, pacing.

"Remus loves her, too," Sirius reminded him.

James whirled around to face his friend. "I loved her first!" he shouted.

"No, you didn't," a voice growled from the corner of the room. Both boys turned to see Remus melt out of the shadows. He had been hiding there the whole time. _Uh oh,_ Sirius thought.

"I've loved her since the day I met her," he continued. "You only started to notice her when she hit puberty!"

James stared at him, his eyes gleaming with fury. "Remus," he said coldly. "You know you don't have a chance with her."

"I know a lot of things about Lily, but that is not one of them," Remus answered, his voice just as frosty. Sirius could tell this was going to deteriorate into a fist fight soon. It always did when James was involved. _This is bad, really bad,_ he thought.

"James, I'm not going to fight with you anymore. I'm not going to let you ruin our friendship. But I'm not going to give up on Lily either. So I say, let the best man win. No more fighting, no more silent treatment. We'll let Lily decide."

"Fine," James spat. "We'll let her decide." With that, he turned and left. Sirius tried to give Remus an encouraging look and followed James. Remus growled at the retreating figures and returned to his corner, prepared to spend the night.

* * *

A wolf roamed the Forbidden Forest, his canine teeth flashing white in the moonlight. He raced through the trees and came to a stop in a clearing with a pool at its center. The wolf rushed up to the water and took a long drink, the cool snowmelt soothing his parched throat. The water stilled and he gazed into it. Sable eyes gazed back, hunger giving them a reddish glint. A lily pad drifted across his reflection, sending ripples across the pool. The wolf stared at the milky white flower, its petals spread wide. The red glint disappeared and was replaced by a gray one.

_Lily... _the image of a redheaded human formed in his mind. The wolf shook his head to clear it. The red glimmer returned and he ran off in search of food.

* * *

James glanced at his watch. It was midnight and Lily still hadn't come back to the Gryffindor tower. He had been sitting there for hours, waiting for a chance to get her alone. This was the one night Remus would be unable to interfere with his plans. James intended to tell Lily exactly how he felt. He knew she could never resist him. Clearly all her past rejections were just ploys to keep him interested. She was just playing hard to get. And that whole Remus thing, that had just a ruse to make him jealous. Obviously she didn't love Remus. Who would chose Remus over James Potter? There was no contest. James was completely confident in his ability to win Lily over. She was head-over-heals in love with him, he could tell. The way her eyes sparkled when he came near her, the way she always stared at him in class just screamed love **(A/N: Unfortunately, James doesn't seem to realize that at the times mentioned, Remus is always next to him. Can _you_ guess who Lily's staring at?)**. Tonight, James was going to make his move.

"James," Lily said as she entered the room through the portrait. "What are you doing up so late?"

"I was waiting for you, Lily," he answered with feeling. "I need to talk to you about something." Lily was immediately suspicious. "What is it?" she asked slowly, her eyes narrowing as she sat next to James on the couch.

"Lily," he started, taking her hands in his. "We've know each other for a while now and I want to take our friendship to the next level." He took a deep breath as Lily stared at him in dismay. "Lily, I'm in love with you."

* * *

"WHAT!" Lily yelled as she ripped her hands from James's sweaty ones. She was now standing, surprise having catapulted her up. _I knew he liked but, I didn't think he was in _love_ with me!_ Lily thought desperately.

"I love you," James said as if to confirm her fears. "I've loved you for a long time. You're smart and beautiful and crazy and fun and I've never felt this way about anyone before. I'm in love with you, Lily," He smiled hopefully. "And I was hoping you'd feel same."

_Oh my God,_ Lily thought. _He's insane! He's completely lost his mind! _Lily was trying to think of away to convey this to James when he decided to go in for the kill.

"Lily," he whispered as he stood and placed his hands on her shoulders. "We're perfect for each other." Then he leaned down and kissed her. Lily's eyes opened wide when James attempted to add a little French culture into his kiss. She immediately shoved him off of her and gave him a resounding slap across the face. James put a hand to his stinging cheek and stared at Lily in surprise. She could feel her eyes filling involuntarily with tears. Soon they would spill over and James would get the wrong idea, _again_. So she turned and escaped out the portrait door. James was left standing there, shocked at how wrong this night had gone.

* * *

**A/N: Silly James, you can't get Lily that way!**

**REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in forever. Can you say writer's block? It was horrible. I couldn't write _anything_! Hopefully, that won't happen again:) This is what happens when you try to squeeze so much drama into one chapter!**

**OMG. I have just discovered MuggleNet. Yes, I _do_ in fact live under a rock. Anyway, the Wall of Shame is the funniest effing thing I have ever seen and Emerson is hilarious. Some of the people on there are almost too stupid to function! This site is great for any of your Potter needs and MuggleCast has wonderful discussions that have me laughing the whole time.**

**I have also discovered that someone has created a petition (yes, a petition) demanding that J.K. Rowling "rectify the situation in Book 7, clearing up any questions the few Ron/Hermione shippers (the truly "delusional" ones) floating around might have about the one true romantic relationship that matters in the Harry Potter books, that of Harry and Hermione." This both saddens me and makes me wonder about the future of our human race. No offense to any Harry/Hermione shippers, of course, but, y'all are nuts.**

**Also, I have just noticed that I spell the word gray 2 different ways in this story. I apologize for any pain and suffering this may have caused you. Please forgive me and any further transgressions I may make in the future. In all honesty, I'm just so captivated by my own image of Remus, that my fingers hit the wrong keys while I sit there drooling.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will, which makes me quite sad.**

_Chapter 7: All the Possibilities_

For the next month, things did not return to any variation of normal. James moped around all day, confused and depressed. He still didn't understand why Lily had rejected him. Not even his normal throng of adoring fans could cheer him up. He was almost worried that maybe she _had _fallen for Moony. _Almost_.

Remus had heard of James's confession of love and, though he was guiltily happy that James had failed, he was also worried. All the canine confidence he had felt when arguing with Prongs in the Shrieking Shack had left him and had been replaced by human self-doubt. If Lily had rejected _the_ James Potter, what chance did he have? Sure, they had shared that one night at Christmas together, but that didn't mean she loved him. It didn't mean anything. And, there was also an old fear that kept resurfacing in Remus's mind. What if Lily found out his secret and was terrified of him? What if she found out and never spoke to him again? This was so confusing. On one hand, Remus loved Lily and wanted to believe that she would accept him for who and what he was. She hated James that was clear and always seemed to be finding ways to spend time with Remus. On the other hand, nothing good had happened since Christmas, so what hope did he have? He was a werewolf, something nobody, not even Lily, could love.

* * *

It was now February and it was nearing Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, it was also nearing Remus's time of the month. He was beginning to get irritable and those meat cravings were starting to kick in. Soon, he'd have to find his way to the Shrieking Shack. He just hoped Lily wouldn't get to suspicious of his comings and goings. 

Contrary to this hope, Remus's constant absences were all Lily had been able to think about for the last month and she had realized that this happenedquite often. Remus would always disappear around the same time every month without fail. The teachers never called attention to it and the next day he would be back in his seat as if nothing had happened. Every time she brought it up with the Marauders, they would mumble some ridiculous reason for Remus being out and then find some excuse to leave. These excused had ranged everywhere from sleeping late to being attacked by packs of rabid pygmy puffs. She had not believed a word of those lies. When ever confronted with these excuses, Remus would quickly make up some story to explain away any questions posed to him. He was good at that kind of thing. Years of experience tended to prepare you.

Lily had decided that Remus was in some kind of trouble that he couldn't tell her about. She was determined to find out what it was. She only wished that he felt he could confide in her without being judged. Remus held such a special place in her heart; it hurt that he didn't trust her. She lay in bed, trying to find an explanation for these absences. Lily glanced at her calendar and observed that it would be the full moon tomorrow night. Her astrology teacher had forced his class study the astral sphere incessantly for the last week. Lily had chuckled quietly when Remus turned an interesting shade of green the moment the professor had mentioned the moon's connection to werewolves. Clearly, he had some fear of the beasts. Lucky for him, none lived in the Forbidden Forest. With that last thought, Lily rolled over and sunk into a troubled slumber.

* * *

On the morning of the fourteenth, the girls in Lily's dorm were in a grooming frieze. Each had someone they wanted to impress and they were all desperate to do so. Kate and Kristyn fought over the mirror while Lily brushed her shining hair. All she could think about was Remus. _Will he ask me to be his Valentine?_ She wondered excitedly. She did not get any further in this line of thinking. Her thoughts were interrupted by a very insistent Ella. 

"Lily, come on, we have to _go_! I don't want to keep Sirius waiting."

Lily rolled her eyes. This was Ella's first Valentine's Day with Sirius and she had been talking of nothing else for the past two weeks. "Alright, alright, we're going," Lily said as Ella dragged her out the door and into the common room, leaving behind a glowering Kate. She had lost the mirror to a very cheerful Kristyn. In the common room, Sirius waited impatiently for his valentine to arrive. Lily glanced around disappointedly when they reached the top of the staircase. Remus was nowhere to be found.

When Ella came into sight, Sirius stood and quickly strode over to her. He took the stairs two at time and proceeded to scoop Ella up in his arms, bride style, and, without a word, carried her down the steps and out the portrait door, beaming like a mad man. She could hear Ella yelling for Sirius to put her down. Lily smiled and shook her head, following her friend to breakfast.

* * *

Awkward silence had become the norm at the Marauders's table. Lily and James had said nothing to each other since the… um… confession. Sirius and Ella knew the details. Both had winced at James's kiss, and congratulated the slap, one silently, the other very vocally. Today, the couple paid no attention to the tension between Lily and James. They were to busy staring lovingly into each other's eyes. Lily, sick of the silence, attempted to make conversation. She picked the first topic that come into her head. 

"So, I haven't seen Remus today." Lily stated, looking back and forth between the two Marauders present. The boys traded glances. Both looked guilty as hell. Sirius gave James a look, reminding him of his promise to keep his big mouth shut about Remus's furry little problem.

"He's… er… out," James stuttered lamely. He had exhausted his extensive arsenal of excuses and this was the only thing he could come up with on such short notice.

Lily was sick of this answer, "Out where?"

The response came out as a bark, "Just out!"

Lily raised her hands in defense. "Okay, okay, sorry I asked!" She decided to save that topic for a later date. She turned the conversation to a happier subject.

"So, Sirius, what were you planning for Valentine's Day?"

The raven-haired boy grinned, showing pearly white teeth. "I have a special surprise in store for this beautiful creature sitting beside me." He smiled at Ella and kissed her on the cheek. She returned the smile and the kiss, pleased that Sirius had turned out to be such a thoughtful boyfriend. No one would have guessed that under his sarcastic and ruthless exterior resided a heart of gold. _What is he planning?_ She wondered excitedly.

* * *

For the rest of the day, Lily searched for Remus every chance she got. He was nowhere to be found. Lily was starting to get worried. Sitting at dinner, she tried to ask the Marauders about it again, but she got the same reaction. She was really scared. Remus was in trouble and no one would let her help. 

Suddenly, a plain white envelope addressed to Lily appeared in front of her in a puff of pink smoke. Lily picked it up and carefully studied the wax seal. It was stamped with the image of the full moon. It was from Remus. She broke the seal and found a red, heart-shaped valentine. Gold letters began to write themselves on the paper, spelling out the question Lily had been hoping for.

_Will you be my valentine?_

"What's that you got there, Evans?" James craned his neck to see the words on the heart. Lily pulled away instantly, desperate to hide the writing. James still did not suspect that Lily was in love with Remus, and she planned to keep it that way. James could be quite vengeful when he wanted to be. "Nothing!" she practically yelled at him.

"Really." He didn't believe a word she said. "Well, let's just see then." He grabbed the letter as he said this, grinning at the look of horror on Lily's face.

Immediately, the message disappeared as if an invisible cloth had wiped it way. It was quickly replaced by a new one. Gold letters appeared, requesting that Mr. Potter refrain from sticking his nose into other people's business. James's ears turned red as the paper continued throw insults at him in the same polite manner. Sirius grabbed it from him and inspected the new message that appeared. The card wished him a happy Valentine's Day and told him to give Mr. Moony's warm regards to Ella. The afore mentioned took the card next and it instructed her to make the best of the day (wink, wink, hint, cough, nudge). When the card came back to James, it insulted him once more. His mother was mentioned, in a very rude way._ Why, Remus, why do you do these things to me!_ Lily thought desperately. She stood and stole the card from the fuming James. His silence meant he was past his normal 'temper tantrum' type of mad. Now he was somewhere in the region of 'murder the closest person' mad. Lily ran for her life.

* * *

After James had calmed down from the valentine's insults and it was clear that Lily was not returning to dinner, our dear Padfoot put his Valentine's Day plan into action. 

"Ready for your surprise?" Sirius asked his girlfriend playfully. Ella nodded an affirmative, smiling at the thought of what could possibly lay ahead. The boy was very creative. Sirius stood and snapped his fingers. The music of a piano started playing from somewhere, the beat sounding familiar. A guitar joined in. The students and faculty grew silent as Sirius stepped on to the bench, then the table. It was in between courses, so the surface was clear of any cumbersome dishes that might get in the way of what was about to take place. A microphone magically appeared in Sirius's hand and with a wink, he started to sing to Ella.

"Wanting you the way I do,

I only want to be with you.

And I would go to the ends of the earth

'cause darling to me that's what you're worth.

Where you lead,

I will follow.

Anywhere that you tell me to.

If you need, you need me to be with you

I will follow where you lead.

If you're out on the road,

Feeling lonely and so cold.

All you have to do is call my name

And I'll be there on the next train."

Sirius continued to croon, dancing up and down the tables, all the while singing directly to Ella. The teachers had at first tried to stop the performance, but by the second verse, most had given up and even joined in on the chorus. Ella sat in her seat, beaming up at Sirius, enchanted by the beautiful voice coming from the smiling boy. Suddenly, Sirius grabbed her hand and hauled her up onto the table with him, jerking her out of her reverie and sung the next verse while slow dancing with her on top of the table.

"I never thought I could get satisfaction

From just one woman.

But if anyone can keep me happy

You're the one who can."

Now most of the school was standing and singing along, for even though it was a muggle song, many of the students knew it. The couple danced along the table, the raven-haired boy leading the way. Sirius twirled Ella round and round, her white skirt flaring out. The students around them clapped to the beat, the audience just as excited as the performers. The song ended with Sirius sweeping Ella into a huge dip and kissing her thoroughly in front of the entire school. Applause erupted from all sided. This put to rest any doubts that Sirius was indeed serious **(A/N: No pun intended, I promise!)** about his girlfriend. Needless to say, many girls left disappointed that night. The happy pair exited the Great Hall, all drama involving Remus, James and Lily forgotten, Sirius's arm around Ella's waist. They spent the night in the common room, blissfully snogging the night away.

* * *

Breathlessly, Lily entered the astronomy tower. She knew it would be a while before James started looking for her and she was going to use what time she had to plan. Lily glanced once more at the Valentine Remus had sent her. A new message was scrawled there: 

_Don't come looking for me tonight. I don't want you to get hurt._

She clutched tightly to the note, her emerald eyes filled with a purposeful stubbornness. Unfortunately, Remus's sentiments had the exact opposite effect than the one desired. Now Lily was determined to find him, no matter what.

* * *

_Is that a tree or a boat?_ James wondered helplessly, staring intently at the bottom of his cup. He was trying to figure out the symbolism of his tea leaves. And of course, his bloody textbook was of no help. Apparently, he was either going to become a lumber jack or a sailor when he grew up. _Stupid divination homework,_ he groused silently. James was alone in the common room, having just ordered Ella and Sirius to get a room, an order they happily obliged. Suddenly the door opened, interrupting his musings. 

"James, I need to talk to you."

He turned. Lily was standing few feet behind him. This was new. She hadn't said more than two words to him since New Year's. He put his textbook and teacup aside. "What is it?"

"James, what is going on with Remus?"

_Damn. It's always got to be Remus, doesn't it?_ Despite the jealously that sat heavily in his stomach, James wouldn't betray his friend.

"Nothing! Nothing is going on with Remus! Why would you ask something like that?"

_Why can't she just let it go?_ He thought desperately.

"Because I know something's up! Remus is in trouble and I need to help him!" Her voice was passionate, her eyes frighteningly intense._ I've got to get out of here!_ James thought frantically.

"No, Lily, you don't!" He stood and brushed past her, heading toward the door. But what Lily said next stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Yes, James, I do." She paused, debating over whether her next comment would do any good. "I love him."

_Bloody Hell._ He stood, facing the door, cursing himself for what he was about to do. _Sorry, Remus._ "Damn it, Lily, you can't love him!" Deep breath. He needed to tell her just one last time. He looked over his shoulder and said, "_I_ love you!" James turned to leave. He knew he'd gone _way_ past his boundaries. That's when Lily decided she was not in the mood for his crap.

* * *

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" James froze in his tracks. Lily flicked her wand and the boy's head was free of the charm. She kept her wand pointed at his throat. 

"James, please don't start that again. Now tell me, what is going on with Remus?" Lily asked him through clenched teeth.

"I can't tell you, Lily," James answered, finally being a loyal friend. "Not unless Remus lets me."

"Well then, tell me where he is and I'll ask him myself!"

James glanced out the window, toward the trees, then back at Lily. "I don't want you to get hurt." He whispered, echoing the words of the valentine. Lily followed his gaze and all the blood drained from her face.

"He's in the forest, isn't he?" James was silent. She turned on her heel and stared to leave muttering, "Stupid ass!"

"Lily, wait!" he called after her, helplessly straining against his magical bonds. "Take this charm off of me!"

* * *

Lily rushed out to the grounds, the full moon lighting her way. Her breath came out in large, visible puffs as she ran. Snow crunched under her feet as she ran, her robes flying open behind her. Horrible images flashed through her mind as the strange shadows of the trees came closer. Images of Remus lying bloodied on the ground, of some evil creature laughing nearby. Her imagination ran wild. When she reached the forest, she plunged straight into the trees without a single second's pause. She had to find him. 

She roamed the woods, traveling quickly down shadowed paths, searching behind trees, her wand out, ready to fight any who tried to stop her. Lily raced through the underbrush, her robes catching on grasping branches. Soon they were in tatters. She shucked them off and continued to run. She cried out when a thorny vine dug deep into her skin, leaving a long gash across her cheek bone, but she charged on, refusing to acknowledge the blood dripping from the wound. The paths through the forest were dark and forbidding. They rang with the calls of night's creatures and rustled with hidden movements. Lily searched for signs leading to Remus and found none. Only the menacing footprints of a wolf were left in the mud. At length, she reached a clearing lit by the fading moon light. Dawn was fast approaching. Snow banks lined the edges of a clear pond. Milky white lily pads floated over its glittering surface, sending gentle ripples across the water. As she tried to breeze through she slipped on hidden ice and fell to her knees, her wand flying across the clearing in the process. She stayed there, panting. Her desperate search had gotten her nowhere. Remus was still missing.

Suddenly, something growled hungrily behind her. Lily went rigid and slowly turned, still on her knees. There, crouched a few feet behind her, was a wolf. A large wolf. Streaks of gray stood out upon its shaggy coat. Blood trickled from the many cuts on the beast's body and clotted on the fur. A red gleam shone in its eyes. It circled its prey, growling deep in its throat. White teeth gleamed in the moon light as its lips curled away from its mouth. Lily glanced toward her wand, which lay in a snowdrift yards from her. The wolf advanced. Lily desperately tried to crawl away, but the beast grabbed hold of her boot. She turned, red hair shimmering, intending to hit it, when the creature released her. It backed away shaking its head. As Lily stared, the wolf alternately lunged toward her and flung itself away, like a rabid dog. Its eyes changed from red to gray and back again. The wolf's shaggy head continued to jerk from one side to the other. _What the hell is going on?_ Lily wondered, frightened. However, despite her complete terror, she knew this was her only chance. She slowly crawled around the animal, closer to her wand. A quick glance told her the wolf was still stumbling around, convulsions racking its body. Clearly the creature was diseased. Unfortunately, that did not stop it from wandering closer and closer. The animal jerked itself so close to Lily, that its lolling red tongue brushed the deep cut that scored her face.

As it rolled away, it tasted the blood. The red gleam returned and it shook off whatever had previously possessed it. The beast turned toward the girl and stalked her once more. It couched down, about to pounce. Lily put her hand up as if it could protect her from those flashing teeth and…

The sun rose over the horizon, its rosy glow spilling across the clearing.

Lily watched in wonder as the wolf let loose an unearthly sound. As the light touched its matted fur, it started to change. Slowly, the snout shrunk into a human nose; paws changed to hands and feet; matted fur disappeared. There, in the middle of the glittering clearing, lay Remus, clad only in navy blue plaid boxers.

The boy lay on the ground, breathing heavily. After a few minutes of panting, he groaned and slowly rose to his feet. Pale skin glowed in the early dawn light. A few shallow cuts marked his body. Ragged scars scored a well muscled chest. Gray eyes searched the clearing for some landmark and came to rest on Lily. She sat in shock upon the ground, astonished. _Bloody Hell_, was all she could think.

* * *

Remus stared at the disheveled girl that lay a few feet from him. Tears stained her face. Fright and surprise rested in her eyes. Blood slowly oozed from the deep wound on her cheek. Remus turned ghostly white. 

"Lily," he whispered seriously. "Did I hurt you?" He stepped forward and bent down to grab her shoulders. He repeated his question slowly. "Did I hurt you?" Remus was shaking. _If I've hurt Lily, if I've turned her into a… a monster…_

Lily looked at him blankly. "What?" She had no idea what he was talking about. He gestured impatiently to the gash on her cheek. She put a finger to the cut and it came away red. It took her another minute to figure out what he meant.

"No, Remus, you didn't do that!" His shoulders sagged with relief. Words continued to spill out of her. "I was running, trying to find you and this vine with huge thorns-"

"YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO COME! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY AT THE CASTLE, WHERE IT'S SAFE!" Remus was now standing, gesturing angrily at Lily. Now that her humanity was confirmed, he had room in his heart to be angry. He took a few steps away form the girl and turned his back to her. His long fingers were clenched into fists. Quietly he whispered, "I'm a werewolf, Lily. I didn't want to hurt you." Lily slowly stood up and walked over to the brooding boy. His back was covered in old scars and fresh wounds. His hair was tousled and he had a smudge of dirt across his nose. Lily moved to stand in front of him. She took his hand in hers and slowly pulled his long fingers out of their violent gesture. Remus watched as the girl held his hand, rubbing the back of it with her thumb. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I just wanted to help you. I thought you were in some kind of danger and none of your friends would tell me what was going on." Lily mumbled. "I was worried about you. When your valentine told me to stay away, I knew needed to find you and help you if I could. I'm sorry," she whispered again, a tears rolling down her face.

Remus wrapped his free arm around her, holding her close. "I just wanted to protect you," he murmured in her ear.

"Remus, I'm so scared," Lily sniffed. He stiffened. "Of me?" he asked, his voice sounding like the question was being ripped from his throat. His worst nightmare was coming true. _I knew it. No one could love a monster like me._

Lily looked at him, shocked he could even think such a thing. But the look in his eyes told her everything. The stormy gray held such pain, such sorrow. _He must have dealt with this all his life,_ she realized. Lily hurried to assure him. "No, Remus, you don't understand, it's not like that! I'm not scared _of_ you. I could never be that. I'm scared _for_ you, for _us_."

Remus's legs went numb as his heart leapt. "U-us?" He whispered.

Lily smiled and cupped his face in her hand. "Yes, Remus, _us_." She stroked his cheek. "I love you." Remus closed his eyes and exhaled regretfully. "You can't, Lily. I'm too dangerous." She ran her thumb along his cheek bone again and whispered, "I don't care." **(A/N: Who does that sound like? Tonks, cough, cough.)** Lily pulled him toward her and kissed him gently on the lips. Remus was first surprised, then deliriously happy. _She doesn't care!_ Only Lily would be that accepting of others and he loved her for it. Remus returned the kiss, his arms wrapping themselves around her. Lily tasted sweet, like chocolate. **(A/N: Hey, maybe that's the source of his chocolate obsession…)** A flock of sparrows burst through the silence, their morning calls startling the pair. They parted and saw that the sun was rising higher and higher. "We'd better get back," he whispered. "Yeah," she agreed. Lily took Remus's hand and they started back to the castle together, grinning like idiots.

* * *

The pair stood outside the Room of requirement. Both had agreed that arriving to their dorms this late would arouse some questions. Better to spend the night in the Room and make up an excuse later. _I need a place that's just for Lily and I, a place for us to go when we need it_, Remus thought. He tugged open the door and found a queen sized bed with red silk sheets. As the two entered the room, both turned a shade of red that matched the sheets perfectly. "Um…" was all Remus could think to say. Lily decided to make the best of it and answered his silent question by taking a running start and leaping onto the bed. As she bounced into place on her side of the bed, she gestured to the other side. "Care to join me?" She asked playfully. Remus smiled and crawled under the covers with Lily. The room was quite chilly as the candles that fill the room were all extinguished and the hearth was empty. Remus and Lily snuggled close, warmth being only part of the reason. Lily laid her head against Remus's neck and he wrapped his arms around her. Both were dead tired. 

"It must be terrible to have to live like this, lying to everyone," Lily murmured quietly. "Is that why you have those gray streaks in you hair?" She reached up and ran a hand through the silky strands.

He smiled ruefully. "Yeah, I guess. I was bitten when I was little, by Fenrir Greyback." Lily gasped inwardly. Everyone knew the name of Greyback. "My Father had insulted him, and he took it out on me." His eyes remained clear, with only a shadow of regret in them. Lily loved him and accepted him and that was all that mattered. She traced the scars that crisscrossed his back, her fingers like the ghosts of flower petals.

"Does it hurt when you change?" Lily asked sleepily. She had been up all night searching for Remus and she was starting to drift off.

"Like hell," he answered. "But it's okay. The Marauders come with me most times. They learned how to become Animagi so that I couldn't hurt them and it helps when they're there."

"They're all unregistered?" He nodded. She promised to keep their secret.

"Can I come next time?" Remus smiled. James would have a fit, but he didn't care. "Maybe. We'll see." An unexpected yawn from the girl in his arms stopped further conversation.

"Good night, Remus. I love you."

He smiled again and snuggled loser. "I love you too."

They fell asleep warm in each other's arms, dreaming of all the new possibilities the future held.

**A/N: Wow, 13 pages of Remus/Lily brilliance! That's 4,914 words. Gotta love it. This chapter took me FOREVER because I had writer's block like never before. And my mom kept taking my computer so I'd go to sleep. Sorry you had to wait so long! Also, I planned out the rest of the story on the bus this afternoon, so I now have something to look at if I get blocked again. REVIEW! IT MAKES ME TYPE FASTER!**

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	10. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay. I'm on the bus to go to Boston with the Honor Choir. It's the town choir and we're going to Boston to work with the conductor Nick Page. He's like God in the choir world. To conductors anyway. To us choristers, he's some freak who arranged the crappy songs we have to sing. Still, I love the choir so, here I am. Since I'm on the bus for the next couple hours and have nothing else to do but listen to the girls in front of me gossip, I thought I'd write for y'all. So, once again, here I am.**

**I've been reading over the chapters I have saved on my computer (again) and I realized I packed so much drama into this story! Something bad happens in almost every chapter. And I've completely forgotten the magic (as pointed out to me by the anonymous reviewer Wiggle. Love your name, by the way.) So I'm going to let you guys have some fun and happy times before things go wrong again. Well, Ella won't be happy (sorry, but your relationship is to perfect. That needs to stop.) But that's okay.**

**Also, the words to the lullaby in this chapter are from the song we're singing in Honor Choir, Thula S'Thandwa. It's an African lullaby, so just the English lyrics are here. Just letting y'all know that so I don't get hit with any copyright crap that I'm not aware of.**

**Right. We're moving, so I'm going to stop rambling, put in my rehearsal CD (yes, I know. I'm a choir junkie) and I'm going to actually start writing!**

**Disclaimer: IT'S NOT MINE! STOP ASKING ALREADY!**

_Chapter 8: A Nightmare_

"_Hush,_

_Don't cry._

_Hush,_

_Your mother's coming._

_Hush,_

_The day is done_

_Oh little baby."_

_Lily stood in a dimly lit room, softly singing as she stoked her pregnant belly. Lovingly, her voice lulled the unborn baby to sleep. He stopped kicking her kidney, much to her relief. She had decided it was a boy, for reasons incomprehensible to others. A mother just knew. Lily smiled as a strong baritone voice joined her light alto. A tanned callused hand reached from behind her to rest on the pale fingers she had on her stomach._

"_Hush. Loooo-loo-loo-loooo,_

_Hush. Loooo-loo-loo-loo,_

_Hush. Loooo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loooo-loo-loo-loooo."_

_The man behind her was wildly off key, as always. He had never quite got the hang of singing. It was something Lily absolutely loved about him. It seemed to be the one thing her husband couldn't do. He rested his chin on her shoulder, the scruff on his cheek scratching the side of her neck. She needed to remind him to shave. Lily turned to gaze her husband, and was met by sparkling hazel eyes. Messy coal black hair fell across his face. A warm smile spread across his lips. James looked perfectly happy._

"_Rock-a-by baby._

_Rock-a-by baby._

_Rock-a-by baby._

_Rock-a-by baby."_

_His soft eyes glittered behind his spectacles. Lily hoped their son would get his eyes. They always seemed to glitter in the light; a quality had often caused girls to stare in his school days. James continued to stroke her stomach, still softly humming. He kissed her cheek, his gentle lips sweet and loving._

Lily's eyes snapped open, her heart racing. _What the hell was that?_ She thought desperately. _Why was I pregnant and why was I married to _James James and baby were two things that never should be in the same thought together. She tried to put her hand to her stomach, just to check, but couldn't. She couldn't move her arms. At first she didn't know where she was. Unfamiliar red silk sheets covered her and she was warmer than usual. Then she saw why. Someone was lying next to her. She swiftly glanced up, praying that she would not see a head of black hair.

She sighed with relief. Remus slept beside to her, his strong arms holding her protectively. She smiled. He was so cute when he was sleeping, his brow clear of any worry wrinkles, his lips curved into a gentle smile. When he was asleep, he actually looked… _happy_. She snuggled closer, his soft breathing like music, like a lullaby. She could hear his heart beat, like a steady drum in his chest. She listened, her head pressed close, letting that steady reliable beat calm her own heart. It was funny, how safe she felt when she was with Remus, the werewolf. Ironic even. She remembered the night before: the wolf, the fear, the treat of death and then Remus and the sense of relief the sight of him gave her. She had so many questions that needed answers, so many things she needed to say. Lily glanced once more at Remus. His soft angel's hair had fallen into his eyes again. With some difficulty, she wiggled an arm free and reached up to sweep it away from his face. Her hand strayed to his face, stroking dark circles under his eyes. Her questions could wait until he awoke. For now she would just enjoy the feeling of warmth, a feeling she knew was more than just body heat.

* * *

A while later, Remus woke to find a brilliant red head buried in his chest. Lily seemed to be asleep, her breathing even. He looked up and saw sparkling sunshine pouring into the Room. Unfortunately, it was time to get up. Remus bent down and softly brushed his lips against Lily's. Her eyelids fluttered and opened, revealing dazzling celery colored eyes. Remus knew they would darken to a jade color by lunch. 

"Morning," he whispered. She smiled and rolled onto her back. "Morning, Sweetheart."

He was raised one eyebrow. "Sweetheart?" Lily's grin widened. "Yeah. I'm trying out pet names. Would you rather Shnuggums?"

"No, no. Sweetheart is fine!" he said quickly. Sirius would never let him live down a name like Shnuggums.

"So, how did you sleep?" Remus asked conversationally.

"Well, I had a weird dream, a nightmare really, but other than that fine. You?"

"To tell you the truth, I think that was the best night's sleep I've ever had," He answered.

Suddenly, Lily sat up and folded her hands in her lap. Her face was serious.

"Remus, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, anything."

"Do you remember anything from last night? From when you were a wolf?" He nodded.

"Bits and pieces."

"Do you remember when you first saw me in the woods? You were coming toward me and then suddenly you started shaking and jerking about, like you were fighting with yourself, like you couldn't decide whether to attack me or not." She finally asked her question. "Why didn't you? Attack me, that is."

Remus took a moment to formulate his answer. He had been thinking about this last night and he had a theory. "I'm not sure, but I think, even though I was a wolf, I still recognized you. My human heart didn't want to hurt you, but at the same time, my wolf instincts wanted me to…" He didn't finish the sentence. Lily gave an involuntary shudder.

"Lily," Remus started. He looked nervous. "Last night, you said you were _scared_ for me, for _us_." He chewed his lip. "What are you scared of?"

"Lots of things. I don't like that you have to go through something like this. You're so kind and wonderful. It's not fair. I'm scared you're going to get hurt." Her voice broke slightly. "I'm scared that people will find out and make you leave. I'm scared that James will do something stupid. I'm just… scared." Her eyes glistened. Admitting all her fears just made them worse. To stop herself from crying, she changed course. "But, it's okay, because it doesn't matter. I have you and that's all that counts, right?" She looked at him hopefully. Remus put an arm around her and hugged her close. "Of course," he whispered. When they parted, Lily gave a small smile and rolled out of bed, still in her clothes from last night. Taking her wand from the night stand where she had placed it the night before, she conjured new clothes and new robes. "Dress me," she whispered. Instantly the clothes she was wearing were replaced by the new ones. She turned and said, "I've got early potions today, so I've gotta run. Catch you later, alright?" He nodded and she leaned over the bed to give him one last kiss. "Love you," she whispered and left, leaving behind a beaming Remus.

* * *

The first half of the day was interesting. Remus didn't have any morning classes with Lily, so he spent his time staring dreamily out the window, thinking of her. Only Sirius noticed his odd behavior. Everyone else was busy with Peter. 

Peter Pettigrew was back from an extended vacation. His family had taken him to Transylvania for the winter holidays and they had managed to get lost in the woods and get captured by a band of vegetarian vampires. After learning the forest they were in had some kind of anti-Apparation charm cast upon it, they had to escape the vampires (who were extremely lonely and wanted pets), then wander around the countryside trying to find a place _not_ inhabited by superstitious muggles (who were terrified of the people in odd colored cloaks and tended to chase them away) or less friendly vampires than their friends from the woods. Needless to say, that took a few weeks. Eventually they managed to find a payphone and the magical authorities helped them get home. Peter had mountains of homework to make up and spent the entire Charms class beginning one of his friends to lend him the work so he could copy it.

Just as he was about to lobby his friends again in History of Magic for the right to use any and all study materials gathered between the three of them, a pretty brunette with a pleasantly round face sat down right in front of him. Peter stopped mid-sentence and stared, his gesturing finger falling limp by his side. The girl, bent low over unfinished homework, a quill in her hand, scribbled hurried. An errant lock of chocolaty hair fell across her face. She raised a hand to sweep it behind her ear, but it kept falling. Finally, frustrated, she slammed her quill down and swept her hair back in a messy bun. Peter seemed fascinated by this.

The other Marauders, who had been ignoring poor Peter for the last ten minutes, realized there was no more incessant squeaking in their ears. They turned to see what could possibly have shut Peter up and saw a string of drool fall from the corner of his thin lips to the worn desk. Following his gaze, the same smirk came upon all of their faces. Peter had adored Casey Minella for years. She was about the only girl in their year that wasn't taller than him. Peter was kind of her stalker. He had a collection of candy wrappers she had handled. He had a stash of secret pictures of her taken while she wasn't looking. They displayed a happy girl with a big smile of perfectly straight, white teeth. A beauty mark lay just below her left eye. And oh, her eyes! Peter could stare into those eyes forever. They were hazel eyes that changed with Casey's mood. Currently they were a stressed out murky green. Peter just could not stop staring.

But then, of course, Casey's boyfriend John, whom everyone called Slightly, showed up and gave the girl a quick peck on the cheek. Peter's jaw snapped shut. He wiped his glistening chin on his sleeve as sat glaring at the back of the other boy's head.

Most people believed that John Costello's nickname originated from his slight build and lanky appearance. For some reason, his sparkling brown eyes and messy coffee colored hair made him seem harmless. In fact, his name came from his skill with sleight hand. He loved to play cards and never went anywhere without a deck of them somewhere on his person. Casey was the only one who could win against him, matching each friendly deception with a trick of her own.

"You know, mate, Casey and Slightly have been going out for some time now and they seem pretty happy to me. Maybe you should give up," Padfoot suggested. He pitied his mousy friend. Peter's short stature, nervous nail-biting habit and strange front teeth kept him from popularity with the ladies. You couldn't _pay_ a girl to go out with little old Wormtail. It was sad, tragic and pathetic, but true. Peter chose to ignore this comment and persisted in his glaring.

Professor Binns continued to drone on and on about the International Convention for the Rights of Pixies. Most of the class had fallen asleep. In fact, it seemed only Remus was taking notes. Sirius glanced around the room and noticed a girl staring at him. It was not his girlfriend. She was sitting to his right, writing furiously in a thick notebook. This girl had long chestnut hair and bright brown eyes. Those eyes were trained unblinkingly at Sirius. Her heart shaped face was resting on her hand as she smiled. Pearly white teeth shone in the afternoon light. Sirius nervously smiled back, unsure as to _why_ the girl continued to stare. Did he have something on his face? She raised her free hand and gave a little wave. Her perfect nails were painted a light pink. She was close enough for him to see the tiny bumblebees magically raced around on them, playing tag above the tiny flowers. Sirius was mesmerized by the miniscule creatures. He was easily distracted.

Now it was Ella's turn to glance up, looking for inspiration to continue her writings. She was writing story and she was stuck. As she glanced toward Sirius, she saw him looking wide eyed and open mouthed at a girl across the room. Following her gaze she discovered who it was. Ella's eyes narrowed. _Sophia Allocco._ Why was she staring at Sirius? _And why was he staring back!_ Then Ella saw the other girl's nails. She had seen those in the window of the most expensive nails salon in Diagon Alley. They were enchanted to captivate the wearers intended target. Knowing Sirius, those tine bees and flowers were very distracting. He was like a dog. Anything shiny or moving and he was absolutely mesmerized. She rolled her eyes and whacked the boy on the head with her notebook.

"Ow!" he exclaimed. Professor Binns ignored the outburst. "What was that for!" he whispered furiously. Ella refused to answer. She gave our oblivious Padfoot a searing look and returned to her story.

The bell rang and half the class jumped four feet in the air and came crashing down to the floor. The Marauders (except Sirius, who was still rubbing his sore head) laughed as they stepped over their dazed class mates on the way to the library. They all had a free period before lunch.

As James, Sirius and Peter all settled down at a table, Remus hurried off to the rows and rows of books, claiming he needed a special tome for a DADA essay. Though, none of the other Marauders remembered being assigned this essay, they figured they'd let Remus find that out on his own. The boys pooled their resources and helped each other decipher their Ancient Runes homework, as well as name all the ingredients in a Babbling Beverage for Potions and managed to each add five inches to their Divination essays by rambling on and on about all the possible effects different types of tea leaves could have on the reading. It was only after they were well into their attempts at Transfiguration that Sirius realized Remus was still missing. He excused himself to go look for the lost lycanthrope. Knowing Remus tended to get caught up in the section containing the heavy, hard to read, leather bound volumes, he headed straight to that area of the library. Quietly whispering Remus's name lest the librarian should hear, he passed row after row of books. When he finally found Remus, he stood staring in surprise.

He had his arms wrapped around a girl. And not just any girl. He was snogging Lily Evans. Sirius broke out of his reverie and smirked. "Well done, Moony!" He whispered rather loudly. The couple sprang apart, startled, and Padfoot grinned. Both Lily and Remus were blushing furiously. Both were breathing a little heavily. "So, you two are…" Sirius trailed off, allowing the couple to think of the proper term they wished to use.

Lily jumped in. "Together? Yes, we are." Moony gave a small grin and nodded agreement.

"Good. Now, I hate to break up this wonderful love fest, but could you come back and help us with Transfiguration?" He said, gesturing to Remus. "You're the only one that can turn that damned quill into a bird."

Though reluctant to leave his girlfriend, Remus nodded and gave Lily a quick good-bye kiss. Then he turned and followed Sirius through the shelves of dusty books.

"So," Sirius started. "You and Lily."

"Yep"

"What are you gonna tell James?"

"Don't know," was the answer. "I figured I'd cross that bridge when I came to it."

Sirius nodded and mulled over what would happen when someone stepped on that rickety bridge. He cringed inwardly as he saw the bridge collapse. _We'll figure something out,_ he thought, resigned. When the boys reached the table, Peter and James looked up.

"You find your book, Remus?" James asked.

A confused look passed over the boy's face. Then he remembered. "Oh, um, no. It was checked out." He stuttered, his face turning a light red. "Too bad," James said. "Now, can you please show us how to turn this stupid feather into a bird? All _we_ can get it to turn into a bird shaped feather." Remus glanced at the table. The books were all cleared off and in the center was indeed a bird shaped feather. He sighed. With a swish of his wand, the odd shaped plume became a small, white nightingale. The small creature hopped around on tiny stick legs for a minute, somewhat bewildered by its own sudden existence. Then, it lifted miniature wings and took flight. After zooming around in circles for a while, the creature came to rest on Remus's shoulder.

James cracked a smile. "Brilliant! Can you show us how to do that?"

Remus sat down, prepared to yet again teach is friends the basics. "It's all in the wrist," he said, displaying his own for the purpose of the lesson.

* * *

Lunch time: the Marauders' favorite time of the day. James was just getting started on a plate full of delicious food when Sirius grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the Great Hall, all the way up to the Common Room. When questioned on his actions, Sirius said they needed to talk. 

"James, what if, hypothetically of course, someone else was going out with Evans? What would you do?" Sirius asked nervously.

"I'd hex them into oblivion," was the answer. _Great,_ Sirius thought. _Well, better he gets angry here than in front of all the teachers._ He prepared himself for what he was about to say next. "What if, not so hypothetically, Moony was going out with Evans?"

James turned white. "What?" He whispered. Sirius repeated his words and James turned even whiter.

"But… but they… they can't be together! She… she's mine!" He stuttered, completely forgetting his vow to let the girl decide **(A/N: Remember? Back in Ch. 6? I know, guys, it's been a while)**.

"James, Lily has never been yours," Sirius reminded him gently.

"But I love her!"

"Well, you sure have an interesting way of showing it. If you knew her at all, Prongs, you'd know she's not the type to go for the usual Marauder charm."

"Are you saying I _don't_ love her?" James asked, suddenly angry at Padfoot.

"No, I'm saying you don't _know_ her. You've spent so much time worshipping her, you never really got to know her. What she likes, dislikes, that sort of thing."

"Sirius, I can't just give her up. Even though she hates my guts, I've never felt this way about _anyone_ before, contrary to popular belief. It's just my luck that the one girl I really care about believes me to be an arrogant prick."

"It's your own fault you know. Showing off and being a smartass doesn't work with her."

"I know, it's just that… it's just that I don't know how to _be_ around her! Whenever I try to say the right thing, it comes out all wrong!" He sighed and sat down on the coffee table, head bowed. "I… I just thought that if I gave it enough time, she'd come around. I always get what I want in the end."

"Why should _you_ get everything? Don't you want Moony to be happy?" Sirius questioned, his voice inquiring, not accusing. "Please, James, let Remus have this one girl."

The boy in front of him put his head in his hands and sighed heavily again.

"Just think about it, Prongs," Sirius whispered and he quietly left his friend to his thoughts.

* * *

James came down to dinner towards the end of the meal, taking a seat across from Remus and Lily at the Gryffindor table, next to Sirius and Ella. He noticed Sophia staring at the raven-haired boy as he looked decidedly away. _Hmmm… wonder what that's about?_ He wondered. After loading his plate with whatever remains of the meal he could find, James joined in a spirited conversation over the Quidditch stats of the House teams so far. Remus and Lily chose to stay on the down low for the whole meal, exchanging only a few secret smiles and whispers. Moony kept stealing glances at James, wondering when and how they should tell him. _Definitely not tonight though,_ he thought passionately. _Not tonight._ When finally all of the plates were cleared of any and all food, Lily excused herself, announcing to the Marauders that she had a project that had been left unfinished. She gave a secret look to Remus. He had no idea what it meant. Stepping over the long bench that served as a seat to hungry diners, she grabbed her bag, turned and … 

Gave Remus a kiss. In front of James and the rest of the House of Gryffindor. The girl gave his shoulder a quick squeeze for courage and fled. Remus, a horrified look on his face, slowly turned his head to look at James. A calm anger and, strangely, resignation lit the hazel eyes of the other boy. He took a deep breath and gave a definite nod, as if to say _It's okay._ He had conceded.

Returning to his food, James thought _I'll let you go for now, Lily. But I won't give up on you just yet._

**A/N: YAY I GOT THE SOLO!**

**Update on solo: got on stage, completely forgot the words (I had one day to learn it) and just mouthed nonsense. But it's okay because I was singing it as a duet and the guy I was singing with, Matthew, sang it by himself. He did fine. Next chapter contains the happy times I mentioned. And Ella, sorry once again. It had to happen.**

**Also, my faithful readers, I need your help! This is a Reader Challenge. I have a question for you to answer: What are your favorite pet names for Remus and Lily?**

**Please answer this question in your reviews. It would help me a lot. Sorry it took me so long to update. I need to work on that.**

**REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 9

**A/N: I am currently running on 4 hrs sleep b/c of this story. So if it sucks, I'm sorry. In fact, I'm well aware of the fact that it both sucks and it's really short so I'm REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SORRY because I had a time-constraint thing that contributed to a mini writer's block. See, my choir is recording a CD so, life is pretty full right now.**

**Also, I'd like to say hi to tazgrl. I'm her new beta! So I'll let you know when her story is posted so you can support my new friend! You may not like the ship she chose for her first fic but trust me, it'll all work out in the end.**

**So, on today's menu is some snow fun and hot cocoa (I'm drinking some at the moment). This will be short, but I'm sure y'all will get over it eventually. Sorry (again). I have some long chapters coming up, so don't worry.**

**Disclaimer: I may have little thing for shy werewolves, but I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, Remus would soooooo be mine!**

_Chapter 9: Snow Angels_

Sophia was shameless. Absolutely shameless. She was not three meters away and yet the girl was flirting with Sirius! Not talking, _flirting_. Ella couldn't hear much, but she could tell from that ridiculous girl's stupid, stupid face. It was called her 'flirty face'. She made sure she kept her eyes wide open, to give the full effect of their deep bronze color. Her blood red lips were slightly pursed to make them more noticeable. Sirius was lapping it up like a dog. Even though Ella gave him _plenty_ of attention, she knew he still missed the old routine: find a cute girl, make her faint and move on. Still, of all the girls he could have chosen, it just _had_ to be Sophia. Ella perked her ears, straining to hear the conversation.

"Oh, Sirius, you sexy beast!" the other girl cooed, playfully slapping the boy's shoulder. "You don't know the half of it," Sirius murmured. Ella, not knowing how the conversation had come to this and not really wanting to know, sent the girl a death glare, trying to keep her temper in check. _I will not kill her, I will not kill her, I will not kill her…_ she kept repeating in her head. But Sophia ignored her searing looks, choosing, for some stupid reason, to instead to take a seat in Sirius's lap.

And that was her last mistake.

Out of no where, something wet exploded against Sophia's face. Chucks of snow slid down her shocked, open-mouthed visage to reveal Ella, a grin spread across her pixie like features and her hands wet with snow. Revenge felt good.

Remus watched the whole event unfold from a stone wall a safe distance away. He had a look of amusement on his faced as his witnessed a yelling match start between the two girls. There was a lot of gesturing towards a surprised Padfoot and plenty of profanities exchanged.

"What's going on?" asked a voice from behind him. He turned and saw Lily leaning over the short wall.

"Oh, Padfoot just did something stupid and now he's in the dog house, so to speak. Sophia's in trouble too. Ella's been yelling at with her for the last ten minutes." Both silently chuckled at the girl's temper. Ella was scary sometimes.

The match continued as the couple watched. Evidently Ella won as it ended with Sophia stomping away in a huff as Sirius took his turn with Ella's wrath. "What kind of _idiot_ gets on _her_ bad side?" Remus asked in wonderment. Lily just shook her head, unable to find an answer. After another moment the pair turned and headed toward the untouched corner of the grounds, allowing Sirius to be scolded in private.

It was quite difficult to find as spot clear of frolicking students. It was the last snowfall of the year and the whole school was celebrating. Pure luck had allowed the weather to occur over the weekend. Lily was enchanted by the snow. Never had she seen it so perfect and undisturbed before. Snow plows usually attacked the streets of her home town before it even _started_ to snow, so this was quite a treat. Remus, noticing her look of wonder, smiled and gently took her hand. They wandered, trying to find their own little patch of winter, watching as some first years magically constructed an igloo. Finally, when they were far from the school and from the hustle and bustle of other busy students, Lily released Remus's hand, flopped down in the snow and started to move her arms and legs in a very odd fashion. The boy quirked an eyebrow.

"Lily, what on Earth are you doing?" The red head looked up from her work and said, "I'm making a snow angel."

"What's a snow angel?" Lily's jaw dropped. "You don't know what a snow angel is?"

"No." She sighed. "Help me up." Remus complied with her request, grabbing her outstretched arms and hauling her to her feet. They examined her work, his arm wrapped around her waist. The angel was perfect. Large snowy wings seemed to swoop up over the head as a long white gown flowed to it's feet. Light refracted of the glittering snow, making rainbows in the air. "Now you try," Lily instructed. So Remus, willing to obey the whim, threw himself upon the ground and made an angel similar to Lily's. When he was once again standing, the couple smiled at their artwork. Twin angels stood side by side, one bigger than the other, wings mirroring each other. Sunlight glinted off of the impressions in the snow, making them glow. It was beautiful.

"Oi! Moony! Think fast!" came a familiar voice. Remus turned to see who it was and got a mouthful of snow. James had decided to have a little fun with his friends. He pelted them with snowballs, forcing them back through the snow to duck behind a nearby snow bank. Peter was helping him, laughing maniacally in the background. Lily crouched behind their make-shift bunker, still trying to figure out what was going on. Remus on the other hand, used to James's random attacks, was skillfully compacting snow into ammunition. Clearly this was main stream. He looked up from his work as the pelting sound stopped a growing pile of snowballs at his side. James was out of ammo.

"Ready?" he asked her. Understanding that this was war, she nodded. "Potter's going down." Like a well oiled machine, they both grabbed a snowball and let them fly. Lily risked a glance over their protection and caught the sight of James being hit directly in the chest. She giggled as she ducked back down. Snowballs started flying faster, both sides stopping every so often to reload. In the end, it was Lily's deadly accuracy that caused both Peter and Potter to surrender, both boys with many bruises. On the trek back to the castle, Remus noticed the snow angels. Though still faintly visible, foot prints and the sighs of snow scuffle scared the creatures. A large gash across one gave the impression of a broken wing. The angels were destroyed.

Lily gave his sleeve a tug. "Come on, Remus, its cold!" she said, urging him towards the cocoa waiting in the Common Room. Without realizing it, Remus had stopped walking to contemplate the angels. He grabbed Lily's hand and started moving again, wondering why a knot had formed in his stomach just because some snow angels had been ruined. And why did he suddenly feel more protective of Lily?

He shook off the feeling as they entered the Common Room. The house elves had kindly set up a cocoa station that was being happily abuse by every Gryffindor in the tower. The Marauders (Ella and Sirius had joined the group at the portrait of the Fat Lady) fought their way through the crowd. Remus hooded two mugs with his wand and used his free hand to manipulate the tap. Dark, foamy liquid gushed into he cups, causing the wand to droop dangerously. Finally, after much cursing and jostling, he sank into the couch, handing Lily a mug. She murmured a thank you. As the gray-eyed boy beside her leaned back in comfort, she whispered a spell. Two small pots appeared on the table before her. Lily took from both, mixing the two reddish brown powders in her drink. She sipped from her mug of creamy hot chocolate as Remus inspected the bowls with interest. He sniffed them. Cinnamon and nutmeg. Yummy.

"Do you always do that?" He asked conversationally.

"Do what?"

"Put all those spices in your cocoa?"

Lily looked at him like he was crazy. "Of course! You can't have it any other way. Always add spice to life and trust me, it'll never get boring." With that she returned to her chocolate, the steam curling gently around her face. Remus just smiled. He couldn't help it. She was his angel.

**A/N: I know I'm dodging well aimed snowballs right now, but THIS CHAPTER WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE LONG! In fact, it was planned as a quick write so that I could update fast, but then I had tests and recording sessions and rehearsals and crap. OH! I had a school trip to Washington D.C. for four days so subtract that from your running tally of how long it takes me to update.**

**ANYWAY, I'm really, Really, REALLY sorry it took me so long and that it is so short. The next one's longer and fun. I'll start it as soon as I'm done here. SO REVIEW and thank you to all of you who participated in my Reader Challenge. Keep 'em coming. I need more ideas, though so far my favorite for Lily is Lilypad (obviously) or Angel and I haven't gotten any for Remus. Sorry, Julia, Howl doesn't count. Cool idea, but no. Also: check out my C2 for stuff to read while I'm slaving away over a hot keyboard. I love you all, my faithful readers. Thank you for sticking with me so far. We've passed the half way point. The end is in sight. Tell me what you think about a J/L sequel (I'm _thinking_ about it! No promises!)**


	12. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello, my darling friends! Yes, I know that last chapter was all fluff, but everyone needs a little sugar now and then.**

**I AM SO EXTREMELY SORRY ABOUT THE BAD UPDATING! I HAVE TONS OF CRAPTASTIC TEST AND STUFFS FOR THE END OF THE YEAR AND I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO TIME TO WRITE! IT'S HORRIBLE! So sorry if the updating is erratic, but after this chapter, some birthdays come up (more sugar!), so hang in there.**

**Also, a head's up for the summer. I'm going to camp in another country and then we're visiting Greece. During that time, I'm not allowed to bring my laptop. So at camp I can write, but in Greece I can't. There fore, I don't know how often I'll be able to update, but I will be writing, so maybe updates will be better when I have some chapters in reserve.**

**This might be slightly more fluff (or just a bit of insanity from yours truly), but the best is yet to come, don't worry. Oh, and I don't like those line thingys that I've been using to separate pints of view, so I'm switching something different. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: YES! I'LL ADMIT IT! I OWN HARRY POTTER! J.K. ROWLING IS JUST A NICKNAME!**

**Wow. Glad I got that off my chest!**

_Chapter 10: There's a Reason Fanged Frisbees are Banned_

When the sun finally came back from its winter vacation, it arrived at full strength. Soon, the snow melted and the damaged snow angels disappeared. The Whomping Will put out new shoots and the flow4ers began to bloom in vibrant colors, though most were still loosely closed. A lush, emerald carpet grew on the grounds. An azure sky laced with clouds floated above. Birds sang in the Forbidden Forest, which didn't look so forbidding at the moment. The magical creatures that usually hid deep in the dark foliage were more adventurous with the coming season. Unicorns had been spotted on multiple occasions and the Care of Magical Creatures Professor had had quite a surprise when he found the hippogriffs that usually stayed in the forest had unanimously decided to join his class for the day. A few first years were quite rude to the creatures, immediately begging for rides, and were put in the infirmary with nasty gashes on their arms.

Lily sighed contentedly. She was sitting on a checkered picnic blanket with the remains of a delicious lunch scattered around her. Strong boughs stretched towards the sky above her, the arms of the giant oak under which the group had decided to shelter. Ella had managed to convince Sirius and the other Marauders to take their girls out to lunch on the grounds. She was sitting right beside Lily, still munching on a chocolate frog. A shout was heard and Lily turned to see Remus, his shirt abandoned in the heat, leap to catch the Fanged Frisbee Peter had thrown. The demonic plaything was thrown again, its fangs heading for James this time. His muscles bunched as he prepared for the pounce. All the Marauders had followed Remus's example and a group of girls (and some boys) had come to watch. Many sighs were heard as James sprang up to catch the Frisbee, his golden skin almost glowing.

But Lily didn't notice. She was looking at emus, his silver streaked hair slightly damp with sweat, the scars that no one asked about like chains wrapped around his torso. So many wounds not quite healed. So many times when he needed help and no one could be there for him.

A sudden shriek interrupted these thoughts. The Fanged Frisbee had caught Peter, whose clumsy fingers had been unable to avoid the slashing teeth. It was now firmly attached to his hand, chewing contentedly at his flesh. Peter was, of course, screaming bloody murder while running around flailing. All the Marauders were laughing, even Remus, though he was the only one going to help poor Wormtail. The others were, quite literally, rolling on the ground in hysterics.

A crooked smile graced Remus's lips as he tried to stupefy the disk. The problem was Peter wouldn't stand still.

"Stop thrashing about like that, Peter!" He grabbed the injured arm and took out his wand. Peter whimpered, positive that something painful was in store for him. Remus muttered a spell and the Frisbee went limp, but did not slacken its grip. Large, fat tears seeped out of Peter's beady eyes. Sirius, his own tears from laughter, marched over to help Moony get the Frisbee off Peter. He yanked on it repeatedly, but these fruitless efforts only made Peter shriek. James managed to get himself off the ground to assist Sirius. With both pulling quite forcefully on the toy, they figured it would loosen its jaws and release their friend. Alas, they had no such luck. Wormtail just screamed louder and louder as the crowd that had gathered for the game to watched, many calling out suggestions as to how to get the blasted thing off of Peter. Soon, James was seriously discussing magically removing Peter's arm, as they could not seem to find a way to pry the Frisbee off of him. This of course made Wormtail yelp louder still. He was starting to annoy.

This had gone on long enough. "Boys, stop frightening him," Lily called as she got up, dusting herself off in the process. "I'll take him to Madam Pomfrey." The Marauders nodded and released their friend to Lily's care. She steered him in the direction of the castle. Ella noticed a crumpled shirt lying on the ground. It was Peter's. Sighing, she jumped up, grabbed his shirt and followed, promising Sirius she'd be right back.

**0o0o0o0o0**

"Oh, honestly, Mr. Pettigrew, stop whimpering! It's just a draught to get rid of the pain! It doesn't taste _that_ bad!" Madam Pomfrey scolded. The pair had arrived in the hospital wing a few minutes ago. The nurse had promptly pried the Frisbee (which was starting to come to) off of Wormtail using a nasty looking pair of pliers and some advanced charm work. It immediately tried to latch on to her, but she had deftly flicked her wand and the toy had frozen in mid-air and dropped to the floor with a small squeak.

"There is a reason, Mr. Pettigrew, why these things are banned," she had said sternly.

Lily grinned. The nurse was more than a little miffed that her brew was as bad as Peter was making it out to be. He had squealed and squirmed, wiggled and whined and had flat out refused to swallow the purple potion.

In short, he was being a baby.

Lily rolled her eyes. Ella had come by with Peter's shirt and, seeing how difficult Peter was being, promptly made her excuses and headed back to the picnic, saving herself the headache Peter always seemed to giver her. He had been complaining about his hand throbbing for who knew how long and yet he still refused the potion.

Lily had not yet managed to escape and had to somehow find a way to do so soon. She had extra lessons with McGonagall at sunset. A small smile appeared as she remembered her surprise for Remus. His birthday was coming up and her present was perfect. There only thing that could ruin the preparation for her gift. Those damn dreams had returned, each involving James in some romantic way. _What scares me,_ Lily thought, _is that it feels right. I wake up oddly happy after dreaming of him. _She didn't want that at all.

Peter started yelling again and these thoughts disappeared almost instantly. She was starting to feel a pain that pulsed behind her left eye.

"Peter," She said dangerously, "are you going to drink this potion?"

"NO!" He stated forcefully and quite pointedly at Madam Pomfrey.

"Then-"

"Then I'll just take her with me," a soft voice said from the doorway, interrupting her. Lily quickly turned and saw Remus (his shirt back on, she noticed with some regret), his arm extended to take her hand. She smiled. _Perfect timing._ He grabbed Lily's hand and told Peter they would see him at dinner. _After all,_ he thought quietly as they walked past a few first years still bleeding after the hippogriff incident, _there's only so much whining one can take._

As soon as they were out of earshot, Lily let out a sigh of relief. Remus caught her meaning and smiled. "He _does_ get a tad bothersome at times."

"Yes, just a tad," Lily agreed sarcastically.

"I figured you would be able to contain yourself for at least fifteen minutes. You have more composure than others. Sirius once almost throttled him after five minutes of complaining that time he sprained his pinky." They chuckled.

As they came nearer the tree, they passed Ella. She did _not_ look happy. She was actually quite red in the face and was mumbling angrily to herself. Lily thought she heard something like "… no good, bloody git…" And though Lily couldn't be sure, it looked as though tears were streaming down her face. The couple paused. Lily turned to Remus. He understood her look.

"Go."

She ran after her friend, sure something horrible had happened. Remus trotted in the other direction and found Sirius, his mouth open in shock, his arms hanging limply at his side. A small gleam of surprised anger shone in his eyes. Sophia Allocco stood a few feet away, grinning triumphantly.

"Sirius, what happened?" Remus asked slowly.

"I'm not sure, but I think Ella and I just… broke up," he whispered.

_Crap._

**A/N: Do you people realize that I typed half of this after my hand got slammed in a door by my sister's stupid friend? A blood blister and two fingers that almost got broken do not make for easy typing! And yet I still did it, just for you.**

**Ella, I'm sorry to leave you hanging like this, but you'll find out what happened in the next chapter. As for Lily's extra lessons, that's also next. Think really hard about Remus's birthday and what McGonagall has to do with that, maybe you can guess what's going on :)**

**Also, Ella, I'm really sorry I didn't update last week like I said I would. We almost missed out flight because I was finishing up the chapter and when we got here at camp (I've arrived, everyone!) I had to retype the whole thing because the UBS Port thingy didn't work.**

**And by the way, I am working on my first oneshot songfic! So for all the people who have checked out my profile, another story is coming. It's a Dramione with a little of Ron thrown in. I'm a faithful R/Hr shipper, but I was listening to Simple Plan for days and this appeared in my head. Now I have to go to theatre rehearsal, but I'll bring you guys back some chocolate if you review!**

**(And just for those of you thick enough to actually believe what I said in the disclaimer, I WAS JOKING!)**


	13. Chapter 11

**A/N: Omg. This is soooooooooo late. I just got back from my European tour a few weeks ago and it took me a little while to type up what I had hand written. Then I re-read it, and it was crap. So now I'm re-writing it and will put this out A.S.A.P. But, I have once again sustained an injury to my hand (I tripped and scrapped all the skin off of my right palm, knee and elbow). I also got a new computer so I have to set it up with all the writing programs before I can put this up. Sigh. So many obstacles.**

**Also, the words to the lullaby in this chapter are (once again) from the song Thula S'Thandwa, an African lullaby. I do not own the lyrics, they are owned by the people who copyrighted it.**

**Okay. No more stalling. I have 30 minutes before a family gathering and the little cousins attack me. I will use that time to the best of my ability. I'm playing the sound track to Rent. Nothing can stop me.**

**Here we go.**

_Chapter 11: So Much Drama_

The door to the girl's dormitory creaked as Lily opened it and tiptoed in. Small sniffles could be heard from the bed in the corner. The curtains had been hastily closed, a useless attempt at privacy. Lily quietly stepped over and sat down on the bed closest to Ella's. After a few minutes of tense silence, Lily whispered, "Tell me what happened." The sniffles stopped. More silence filled the room. "Ella, tell me." Finally, after another eternity of suppressive quiet, movements could be heard and the curtains parted.

Ella was sitting cross legged on her bed, facing Lily, crying. Not sobbing, but still crying. It was kind of scary. Ella _didn't_ cry. She was one of those strong people who _stayed_ strong no matter what happened. It seemed wrong, to find her with shiny ribbons of tears weaving their way down her elfin face.

_It's strange_, Lily thought, _how quickly circumstances can change._ Fifteen minutes ago, life was perfectly fine and sunny. Now twilight was slowly painting the sky darkening shades of grey as a second twilight descended upon a relationship. "Please, Ella, just talk to me."

"He was with _her_," a quiet voice whispered, biting the last word as if to hurt the person it stood for. "He was with Sophia and they were snogging. She had her tongue shoved down his throat and her hands shoved down his pants…" She stopped and closed her eyes. The memory hurt too much.

A shocked silence descended. Lily had not been expecting that.

"Ella… I'm so sorry." Lily couldn't find any other words. She was still trying to put that horrible image out of her mind.

"Don't be. It's my own fault," Ella said bitterly, trying desperately to regain her usual composure. "I should have known better." She angrily rubbed the tears away, hard, practically tearing skin. "That stupid son of a bitch said he loved me, and I believed him."

Lily reached out a hand and put it on Ella's shoulder. An errant tear that Ella's furious swipes had missed rolled down her cheek. Lily quietly moved and sat next to the girl, her arms keeping her safe in a warm hug. They stayed like that for a few moments, not speaking. It was their way: silent comfort.

"Are you going to be okay?" Lily whispered, concerned.

"Sure, sure," came the answer as Ella sat up, breaking the gesture of support. "Don't worry, Lily, he won't be coming near me again. Let that harpy Sophia keep him warm. They deserve each other." For Ella, that ended the conversation. Angry blotches of red covered her face and her hurt eyes were swollen as if they were dams, keeping back the flood of tears that still welled up at the thought of Sirius. She stood and went to the bathroom to clean up.

Lily crawled into her own bed and shut the curtains tight. They would talk again, hopefully, but for now, Lily didn't want to poor salt on the wound. Sleep took her, ignoring Ella completely.

_Sirens wailed close by, cutting into Lily's ear. Loud and shrill, they went on and on, not moving away as normal police sirens should in this quiet community. Lily realized then that it was not a siren making the noise, but the baby. She rushed to the nursery, scooped the infant up and softly started crooning._

"_Hush, don't cry _

_Hush, you mother's coming _

_Hush, the day is done _

_Oh little baby" _

_The little boy recognized the tune and quieted down. _He's hear this song since before he was born_, Lily thought, _A lullaby sung when he was still safe, tucked quietly away in his mother's womb._ She touched quick fingertips to her stomach, an engagement ring and a wedding band glinting in the silvery moonlight. Now, danger was about and evil things controlled the midnight hours, here in Godric's Hollow. She gazed at the baby nodding off in her arms, his brilliant green eyes slowly closing, his tuft of black hair sticking up at strange angles, his tiny fingers wrapped in an iron grip round her little finger. _James will protect you_, she thought with conviction. _And if he can't, I will

**0o0o0o0o0**

Lily woke in a cold sweat, her heart beating and her voice still softly singing. _I'll never get used to this_, she thought tiredly as the song drifted away into nothing. The dreams had continued, since that first night in the Room of Requirement, each involving James, a wedding ring and a baby, three things that should _never_ be together.

Worrying over these insubstantial visions always kept Lily up for the rest of the night. She had learned to turn these hours of unrest into a study hall. Homework would always keep her mind off that baby that looked so much like a man she never intended to marry. Reaching over, Lily lit a candle, grabbed her book bag and headed for the Common Room.

On the way to her favorite study table (close enough to the fire for warmth but not close enough that a stray spark could set her work ablaze) Lily passed a mirror that hung on the wall. Sometimes it was there and sometimes it wasn't. Some student in the past had thought it would be funny to conjure the mirror a pair of legs. Now it wandered around at will.

As she passed the mirror, Lily saw something that didn't belong with her appearance. Dark grey circles hung below her light green eyes. _If this keeps up, I'll look like Remus!_ She thought with a dark chuckle.

**0o0o0o0o0**

Breakfast was a trying affair, as were classes. The dream and the lack of sleep that came with it left Lily irritable and the only smiles she had was a happy one for Remus and a comforting one for Ella. Sirius was walking around like a whipped dog, a confusing expression on his face, one that seemed to give him energy while at the same time it seemed to sap him of it. Both anger and sadness contorted his face into a strange kind of mask, one that displayed his true feelings instead of hiding them. Ella hadn't spoken to him at all, not a single word. The only acknowledgement she showed that he existed were the glares she directed at both him and Sophia, who had not yet let go of the boy. He seemed too wrapped up in his own emotions to loosen her clawed grip on his elbow and scrape her off of his arm.

Lily sighed. She would have to deal with that later. The Professor stood at the front of the class, outlining the proper incantation to turn a piece of fabric into a chair. In her musings Lily had just missed the last few notes, which had conveniently erased themselves from the chalk board. _Stupid magical writing,_ she thought. McGonagall had put a special spell on the board so her writing scrolled up and disappeared as she wrote.

Lily leaned over to copy down Ella's notes and saw something bad. Very bad. On the parchment, in full view of Sirius's troubled eyes, was a heart and in the heart was the message "RAB + ED".

_Crap. That girl works fast! _Lily thought, slightly in awe of Ella's plan of revenge. Obviously that's what it was. Ella wouldn't fall for Sirius's brother in one day. In fact, now that Lily thought about it, Ella had been awfully friendly with the young Regulus Black in the last day, walking with him to classes and laughing at all of his bad jokes. Sirius would definitely notice sooner or later that his ex was hanging out with a Slytherin, his own brother at that! And when he did, he would explode.

Lily sighed again. So much drama. She would have to deal with those two later. Right now, Transfiguration was over and she had to talk to Professor McGonagall about her present for Remus.

**0o0o0o0o0**

"Damn it," Lily muttered darkly, stabbing at her food angrily. Everyone left her alone, knowing not to disturb Lily when she was in one of her moods. Only Remus was brave enough to lay a hand on her knee, the most unobtrusive form of comfort he could devise. Professor McGonagall had cancelled her extra lessons for the rest of the week. She had too many papers to grade. Remus's birthday was in only a few days, on the tenth, and Lily had yet to master the special magic McGonagall was teaching her. Granted, the Professor didn't know this was for Remus, but if she didn't learn it in time, all her efforts would be for nothing and her present would be a disaster.

James strutted in and sat across from her, interrupting her thoughts with loud conversation and the constant motion of his hand flicking his hair. _Flick, flick, flick,_ over and over again. It drover her over the edge, the dream still fresh in her heart.

She slammed down her fork. "Damn it, Potter, stop mussing your hair! You look fine and besides, we all know you didn't just get off your broom. You were asleep in the Library, drooling on the books instead of reading them!" She rose and left in a huff, her robes swirling around her, her loose hair flashing like fire down her back, complimenting the fiery look in her eyes as she stalked angrily from the table. The bewildered eyes of all those in the surrounding area followed her path. James's hand hung frozen in his hair, still in mid-flick. It fell limply by his side. For once, James Potter was left speechless. Remus, recovering quickly, jumped up and ran after the flickering flame of Lily's hair. James, finally gaining movement, hopped over the table and the dishes and followed.

"No, Moony," James called, catching up to the werewolf, "Let me. _I've_ upset her, let _me_ make it right." Remus looked doubtful and concerned, but trust made him let James go alone with the promise that he'd tell Lily Remus would talk to her when she was ready.

**0o0o0o0o0**

Lily sat in the Common Room, trying without success to clear her mind and concentrate on her task. If Professor McGonagall wouldn't teach her, she would teach herself.

"Lily?"

She cringed as she recognized the voice calling from behind her and the hurt in it.

"Lily, I'm sorry. For what ever I did, I'm sorry, because I know mussing my hair wasn't all I did to annoy you." She sighed and moved over on the couch to allow James a seat.

"No, it's my fault," She started. "I'm just really stressed right now. We have that exam in Astrology coming up and McGonagall just cancelled on me so now I don't have a present for Remus and…" She trailed off, not wanting to mention the dream.

"Well, can I help?" James asked, trying to make amends. "What are you going to give him?"

Lily looked at him with some disbelief. _James Potter being helpful. I never thought I'd see the day,_ she thought. She played with the idea of denying his help, but then realized, she needed all the help she could get. So, against her better judgment, Lily told James her plan. His eyes lit up at the idea.

"That's brilliant!" He exclaimed, his happiness for his friend overshadowing his own sadness at Lily's devotion to him. "It's absolutely perfect! And we have just enough time to teach you everything you need to know! After all, it is my best subject," he reminded her proudly. Then Prongs's curiosity got the best of him. "But, Lily, can I ask you one question?" She nodded.

"How ever did you manage to get McGonagall to teach you this? Not many sixth years could even dream of doing this kind of magic. And the way you're going to use it is illegal, but that's beside the point."

Lily turned slightly pink at the memory of her first conversation with the Professor on this subject. "I told her I wanted to be just like her. She may not seem it, but she can be as vain as a cat. You just need to know what to say to her."

James shook his head, almost proud that goody-two-shoes Evans could be so devious. "You never cease to amaze me, Lily Evans. Now, if you don't mind, I think we should get stated." She nodded, and James began his instruction.

**A/N: Yes, a tad short and maybe a teeny bit rushed but I had to get this out for you guys. Now I know nothing major has happened in the last few chappies (besides Sirius and Ella's split, of course!) but I'm looking at my outline and the next chapter is Remus's birthday! The present is very cool and I really think Remus will like it. Then it's Lily's birthday. After that is a blah chapter, a HUGE chapter (and I mean HUGE! Hmmm… should I give a spoiler yet? Nope, don't think I will!), then a short and sweet one, the train home and an epilogue (maybe two epilogues, I'm not sure).**

**OMG THE END IS IN SIGHT! How sad! Well, we had fun, rite?**

**Also, fear not, the end of this story is not the end of my writing career. I have a million one-shots and song-fics in my head (multiple five hour bus rides at camp a lot of music). I'm working on a Remus/Tonks one now, and then going back to my Dramione one. They will be posted eventually. Also planning a Neville/Luna. They are such a cute couple. She's the crazy to his calm.**

**Anyway, see you guys soon! REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 12

**A/N: This chapter has put me through hell and back. I started it five times before I even had even a remotely recognizable beginning. Then school started again, creating possibly the worst time issues ever and also sucked away all my creative juices. Then, my new computer spazzed and took weeks to repair. Now I am rewriting this again, as the file I had on my old computer disappeared when it came to the new one. Maybe it fell through the cyber-space equivalent of the Veil. One can only guess if it will return.**

**I swear there is some sort of conspiracy against this chapter.**

**Now, the one night I don't have homework, I'm going to write this. I will. I have Over My Head by The Fray playing right now, a fitting choice, I think. Later, some John Mayer for inspiration. I can do this.**

**I think.**

_Chapter 12: A Change_

The fire crackled in the almost empty Common Room of Gryffindor Tower, warming the few students still studying. Four of them were glancing around quite often, waiting for the others to leave. Lily Evans, one of the four, tapped her feet nervously. Only three girls were left besides her and the Marauders and they seemed to be almost done with their work. _I don't think I can take much more of this,_ Lily thought, exasperated. She was referring to the waiting, to the excitement and tension that had built up for days. She glanced up at James, his head bent over his half-filled parchment in the imitation of study. Instinctively knowing her thoughts, he scribbled a note in the upper corner of his work, his eyes twinkling at her nerves.

_They'll leave soon. Just relax._

_Easy for him to say,_ Lily thought, mentally rolling her eyes. Unlike James, Lily had never done this sort of thing before. He had practiced for years, while she had just mastered the technique the day before. James had ignored that fact though, pushing Lily until she got it right. Still, she had to admit, he was a good teacher. She remembered the night before, when she had first changed.

**0o0o0o0o0**

"_Come on, Evans, just concentrate!" James pleaded. He paced in front of the mat on which the girl sat with her eyes closed. She cracked one lid, glaring up at the raven haired boy from her position on a mat on the floor. They had been at this for days._

"_Potter, I _am_ concentrating," she reminded him, a tad irritated. "I _have_ been since we started this." Her cold stare and the angry set of her mouth prompted James to make the smart move and stop badgering her. He stopped pacing around the space conjured by the Room of Requirement and changed tack._

"_I know, Lily, I know," he tried, using her first name to keep up the friendly behavior. "Please, just relax and try one more time. I know you can do this."_

_Lily gave him one last scathing frown and closed her eyes. She steadied her breathing and rested her hands in the lotus style on her knees. Lily concentrated on changing, on stepping out of one form and into another. She fixed her mind on the feeling of flight, of floating in the sky. Slowly, she began to transform._

"_You're doing it, Lily! You're doing it!" James yelled in excitement, an enormous grin stretched across his face._

**0o0o0o0o0**

James hadn't been as hard to put up with as Lily had thought. He had been a gentleman for once, keeping everything strictly business. They had even had moments of actual friendship, with joking and laughing. His hazel eyes would sparkle and his smile would be genuine. He would be _real_, not the poser he usually was. In moments like that, her dreams didn't seem so impossible, or so horrible.

Lily shook her head, pushing away those thoughts. Thinking those things scared her.

Thankfully, she didn't have to dwell on it too long. A high-pitched shout of "SIRIPOO!" made any kind of thought impossible. Lily looked up quickly, just in time to see Sirius cringe before a whirlwind of bright pink slammed into him, knocking his chair back to crash on the floor. It took Lily a moment to realize that the pink tornado was Sophia.

Lily heard what sounded like a snort come from across the table. She looked over and saw James biting his lip so hard it was surprising he wasn't bleeding. His eyes were shining, tears of laughter gathering in the corners.

"Siripoo?" Lily whispered, lifting an eyebrow, wondering if she had heard right. That almost sent James over the edge. He stuffed his fist in his mouth, trying so hard not to laugh. From his reaction, she gathered she had heard correctly.

_Thank God Ella's not here,_ she thought gratefully. Lily knew exactly where Ella was at the moment. She was in a broom closet, making the youngest black a _very_ happy Slytherin. She had discovered them there during her prefect rounds and had left them there, too grossed out to do anything about it. Lily had found those two snogging in strange, and often very public, places quite a lot lately. She supposed the idea was to make Sirius jealous, but the problem was, Sirius was pig headed. He just exacted revenge back. He and Sophia were caught snogging just as much as Ella and Regulus were. It had gotten to the point where Lily was almost scarred to patrol the halls. Something had to be done.

She glanced over at Sirius, hoping to be struck with inspiration. Sophia was in his lap, showering him with honeyed words. His face was schooled into an expression of content, but the expression did not touch his eyes. It was strange. Lily thought he seemed happy enough with the girl, but sometimes he would get this look on his face, like he wanted to be somewhere else. She could guess where he'd rather be, but that idea was not certain.

One thing Lily _was_ certain of was that if Sophia didn't get off of Sirius and stop _cooing_ she was going to hurl.

James, catching the look on Lily's face, suffered a few more moments of gut wrenching laughter and finally decided it was safe to leave. He made a big show of realizing he had left an important book in the library and was quickly assured the help of Sirius and Lily on an expedition to retrieve it. Sophia, not one to be caught actually reading, finally headed off to bed, but not after smothering Sirius with a few more syrupy sentiments of murmured love. And he still had to drag her nails out of his shoulder before she would go. Lily just rolled her eyes. Some people just had no self control.

**0o0o0o0o0**

The grounds where dark, with only a few stars out for light. It was almost moonrise. Four figures, their shadows hidden in more shadows, quickly dashed across the open grass, one changing to a dark four-legged animal as he ran. The other three stopped a few feet away from the swaying branches of an enormous willow as the dog darted between the boughs, pressing a knot on the trunk with his snout. The tree froze and the others followed the canine down the secret passage hidden by the willow.

_This is it,_ Lily thought, almost scared. She glanced at James, his hair standing up at strange angles, his hazel eyes glowing as they traveled closer and closer to adventure. Lily paused in the tunnel, taking in the dirt walls, the roots hanging from the ceiling, the darkness that surrounded her, broken only by the soft glow of her wand. It was so different from where she was supposed to be: in her bed, safe beneath crimson covers. _But I am safe,_ she reminded herself. _Remus would never hurt me._

"Lily, come on, we're almost there," Peter squeaked, urging the girl on from behind. She started walking again and soon, a wooden door came into view. Sirius pawed at it, and then looked at James, silently commanding him to open it. James followed instructions and they all filed into the Shrieking Shack.

It looked like something out of a horror film. As they slowly walked through the rooms, Lily saw blood stains everywhere. Claw marks marred the old walls. Dilapidated furniture lay in broken piles on the floor, the cushions torn apart and the legs of the chairs chewed up by large teeth. It was quite unsettling, to anticipate something and then see the reality that was so much worse.

The group made their way to the staircase. Sirius led the way up the creaking path. Lily's trembling hand clutched the worn banister, her heart beating faster.

They arrived at the top of the stairs and entered the closest room. And there, on the floor, sat Remus, his arms around his knees, sweaty and shaking like a pale leaf in an autumn wind, clad only in dark grey boxers. His eyes fell gratefully on his best mates, all grinning, ready for another adventure. But his face turned to panic when he saw that red hair.

"Lily!" He gasped, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.

"Happy birthday!" She smiled, trying to hide her nerves.

He didn't understand what the hell his birthday had to do with her recklessly endangering her life. _Again. _"No, Lily, you've got to leave! NOW!" Fear colored Remus's voice for he could feel the moon rising. It was almost time. She had to get away!

"Its okay, Remus!" Lily said, still smiling. Gracefully, she walked over and bent down to place her hand on his back, trying to comfort him. He would have none of it. He jerked away from her, trying to keep her at a safe distance, thought she would only be safe when she was back in the castle.

"LEAVE NOW, LILLIAN!" Remus yelled.

Lily looked to the others, searching for some help. Peter was gone, a rat in his place, Sirius the dog sitting next to him. Only James was left unchanged. He nodded to her.

"Remus, watch." She stepped back and closed her eyes. Then, Lily began to change. As she shrank, her fingers grew longer, turning into feathers. Her milky skin grew downy, more feathers sprouted everywhere. A beak replaced her mouth. Her legs became thin and brittle. And suddenly, she was airborne, small white wings keeping her aloft. She circled once, than landed softly on Remus's shoulder, rubbing her small head against his cheek affectionately.

"She's an… animagus," he breathed, surprise written across his face. James beamed, running a hand through his unruly hair. "I've been teaching her!" Remus started to smile, still thinking this had to be a dream.

"Thank y-" He started. The sentence hung in the air as his eyes grew wide, his throat closing around the words. The full moon's light streamed in through the window.

Then the screams started. Pain like cold fire burned though Remus's veins. Lily flew up to the rafters as his body started jerking. His face started to change shape, a muzzle forming. Human hands morphed into paws, human teeth into a killer's sharp fangs. A thick tail beat the ground in pain. Fur sprouted up everywhere, like the downy white feathers that covered Lily. The screams tearing from Remus's throat became canine howls. The transformation was complete.

The bird fluttered worriedly around the wolf's head, trying to find a safe spot to land. Surprisingly, the wolf didn't snap or growl at the flying creature. He seemed to know her. Gently, the bird landed on top of his head, and tried to preen the matted fur. Comforted by this gesture of affection, the four-legged animal allowed the little bird to worry over him a moment more. Then he shook his shaggy head and the bird took to the air, coming to rest on one of the antlers of the stag that now took James's place. With everyone ready, the werewolf led the way out of the shack and into the woods.

**0o0o0o0o0**

_The canopy of leaves rushed past as five creatures flashed through the night. A wolf, a dog, a rat, a stag and a white bird dashed by together, the canines nipping playfully at the stag's flanks. They frolicked through silvered clearings and played tag through the trees, living it up as only teenagers turned animal can. The bird flew high; turning summersaults in the air, her beautiful voice singing while the boys below her wrestled. When at last they saw the moon beginning to sink lower in the lightening sky, the animals reluctantly headed back to the Shrieking Shack._

**0o0o0o0o0**

"It's nice, not being alone after the full moon," Remus said, smiling. He was sitting on the bed with Lily on the floor in front of him, wrapping a gash on his arm with gauze. They were alone. The others had left at Lily's bidding, some more reluctantly than others.

The werewolf raised his unhurt arm and trailed one finger down the girl's jaw. "You're amazing, you know that? Becoming an animagus so your lycanthropic boyfriend wouldn't be lonesome? Not many would do that."

"Your friends did," Lily reminded him, blushing slightly at the praise. "Yes, well, they're amazing too," he admitted. Lily, finished dressing his wound, sat back on her heels and surveyed her work. Remus had cut himself all over. His back was already white with gauze, she knew, though now he wore a button down shirt over a t-shirt and a pair of worn jeans. His hands covered in band-aids. Some of the muggle medical supplies were already stained red, their fibers unable to soak up all the blood. Simple healing spells could not repair these injuries, however small. Not even magic could make a werewolf's life easier.

His eyes though, remained beautiful and, surprisingly, happy. He was in pain, she could tell, but his eyes were luminous. Not sparkling with mirth, like James's, but glowing with love and contentment. It took her breath away, how much joy he could find in the simple fact that he was not alone anymore.

Lily rose up to her knees and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, wanting to keep his eyes so dazzlingly bright. He returned the kiss, his own lips smiling against hers.

Then, that moment happened where everything changes, where everything becomes suddenly intense.

She kissed him again, lingering there a few more moments, savoring the taste of his lips, her fingers reaching up to run through the silky strands of his hair. Remus slid one hand along her neck, massaging the tense muscles. His other hand caressed her shoulder and moved down her arm, her skin so warm against his fingers. Remus, his heart hungry for hers, pressed more passion into another kiss, one hand moving from her neck to stroke the skin of her back, the hem of her shirt a barrier he didn't care about just now. A soft moan escaped her lips. He felt a little lightheaded, the lack of oxygen being only part of the reason. Lily pushed him back onto the bed, her fingers making quick work of the buttons of his shirt. Fierce excitement pulsed like static electricity in the air. Panting, she pulled away and helped him take off his t-shirt.

She ran her hands over his scarred chest, tracing each raised line, her fingers careful of the white patches of gauze. His hands, too, explored her body, wanting to know its curves and contours. Thoughts flashed through Lily's mind, too quick to remember. It was hard to think coherently, with Remus's tongue in her mouth, with his hands fervently feeling the lace of her bra. Finally, one stayed. _What are we doing?_

"Wait," Lily gasped, breaking away. Remus gently pulled back, his eyes worried, giving her room to speak and room to breathe. Lily opened her eyes and stared into his grey ones. "We can't do this," she whispered, regret wrinkling her brow. She took a deep breath, trying to slow her racing heart. "I don't think either of us is ready for this."

Remus's eyes showed many emotions, finally settling on repentant submission. "You're right," he murmured, still panting. His hands slipped out from under her shirt and cupped her face instead. Gently, he kissed her lips. It was the old kind of kiss, the way he used to kiss her when they had first gotten together. It was careful and almost shy, but still loving. He rolled onto his side and kissed her cheek. "You're right," he said again. She turned to match his position and he pulled her close, letting her body fit into his. He could feel her heart beating erratically, clearly not acknowledging her wishes.

"But," he reasoned, one hand stoking the soft skin of her arm reassuringly, the other wrapped securely around her, "We can still stay like this. Just like this. We can be here and be together and that's enough."

**A/N: So that last scene was something different! I hoped you enjoyed it. I tried not to make it _to_ graphic, just in case some of you don't appreciate such things. Let me know if I did okay or not.**

**I'm so sorry about everything. My lovely readers, you have no idea how hard it has been to write. I have a thousand half written one-shots sitting on my desktop. This story has been begging me to write it and, try as I might; I have been unable to write a single word for months. This seems like it is becoming a trend. School has started in all its horrific glory and so my writing keeps getting pushed back as my courses take up more and more of my already tiny stock of time. I know I cannot expect it, but please, forgive me. This story has a few chapters left, and I'll even shorten it, or combine chapters so it won't take as long, but if you like it and you want to know how it ends, please be patient. I know I'm asking a lot of you, given how long it takes me to update, but I promise, I _will_ finish this. _I will._**


	15. Chapter 13

**A/N: Another eight months gone by. To be honest, I've sort of forgotten about this story. I have it buried in a million different folders on this computer and now that I've found it, I'm finding very hard to finish. Maybe because this is chapter 13 (unlucky) or maybe because I've just been swamped with school stuff, but this has been particularly hard to write. I think I've got my second wind though.**

_Chapter 13: The Necklace_

Remus woke the next morning to the sound of raindrops pounding on the roof of the Shrieking Shack. Weak light dripped through the tattered curtains, falling on Remus' pale cheek. He had a comforting feeling of troubles being washed away and was content to lie on the bed, drifting in a state between sleep and consciousness. It was his day off, after all.

Besides, the night before had been exhausting. His usual routine had been interrupted and changed, granted it had been in a good way. Remus still couldn't believe it, the euphoria still clinging to his heart. Lily had changed for him, become an animagus for him. It was unimaginable, and yet, it had happened. And then after had been nice to…

Suddenly, Remus realized the warm body he had held all night was gone. His eyes snapped open, the pupils shrinking to pinpricks, trying in vain to stop the abrupt light from blinding the lycanthrope. He sat up and blinked, struggling to restore his sight. Through bleary vision he saw that Lily was indeed gone, in her place a note. He picked up the scrap of parchment. It read:

_Early Potions again, can't skip or Slughorn might cry. _

_Last night was amazing. Can't wait until next full moon! See you later._

_I love you,_

_Lily_

Remus smiled. Those magic words, _I love you_, still surprised him sometimes. Settling back onto the pillows, he closed his eyes again. Now that his birthday was over, it was time for him to finish his present for Lily's birthday. His grin widened. He had tried shopping for the girl, but nothing seemed good enough, especially now that she'd given her gift. That is, until he found the necklace.

He slipped out from under the covers and walked over to the dresser. In a drawer was his pride and joy.

Remus pulled out a small black velvet box and opened it carefully. He ran a finger over the silver locket he had found in an out of the way jewelry store, its markings dark against the bright metal. It was beautiful and finished, all the spells and charms in place. Now he just had to work on the second half of the present.

After the package had been rewrapped and placed in the drawer, Remus found a quill, ink, a book and some parchment. He then slid to the floor under the window, his back pressed against the wall. The book was placed on his knees, the parchment on top of that. Remus repositioned his legs to see the paper better, then dipped his quill in to the pot of ink, raised it above the parchment and stopped.

What did he want to say? His intention was to write a letter or a poem, telling Lily how much she meant to him and put it inside the locket for her. But he wasn't quite sure where to start. Remus tried a few lines, just to experiment. _Dearest Lily_ seemed too old-fashioned, too fake. But he wanted it more personal than just _Dear Lily_ or simply _Lily_. And that was just the salutation. What was he going to write in the rest of the letter?

Remus crossed out the feeble attempts at heartfelt sentiments. This was going to be harder than he thought.

_Maybe a poem…_Remus thought to himself. Poetry might be easier than whole letter. Again, he put pen to paper. Disjointed phrases that made little sense and only half rhymed cluttered the page. None seemed right. None inspired a whole poem.

Remus sucked on the end of his quill, his worry wrinkles forming on his forehead. _Start over,_ he thought. _Start at the beginning._

The beginning: in the beginning, Remus had been alone. Lost in a way that he knew where he was, but he didn't know how to get where he wanted to go. He hadn't even known where he wanted to be. But he had known that place was somewhere near Lily. Watching her from afar, her kindness washed over him like warm water, until he was almost drowning in it.

Soon, a friendship formed. Remus had wanted more, still knowing he couldn't have it. She was so radiant and so _happy_, it overwhelmed him sometimes. Only James and the full moon had kept him away, though nothing, in the end, had stopped her. The Christmas party had been the start, and then the New Year's incident had shaken things up again. Remus smiled. A lot had happened in December.

But then, Remus remembered, was the Valentine's Day when everything had changed. Lily had discovered his secret and, miraculously, had still loved him and accepted him.

He smiled, remembering the moonlight on her pale skin and the silvered tears in her eyes. She was so beautiful that night, so vulnerable and fragile, her blazing hair standing out against the white snow. She was an angel, he knew. A real one, not like the ones they had made out of snow. _She even has wings,_ Remus thought with a silent chuckle.

With that grin on his face, he touched his quill to the parchment once more, this time only allowing a few words. He wouldn't be able to write down everything he felt, but he could distill all his thoughts into that one phrase. Then, Remus folded up the paper and stood up, ready at last to give Lily his present.

**0o0o0**

Sirius was feeling depressed. He felt depressed a lot these days, as it seemed his entire group of friends had abandoned him. Lily and Remus were off in Couple Land, James was obsessing over Quidditch since he couldn't openly obsess over Lily and Peter was off stalking that girl he could never have. And Ella… well, Sirius didn't want to think about her. So, as he usually did when confronted with sorrow, Sirius had found his girl of the moment (in this case, Sophia) and was heading to the nearest broom closet.

But as he opened the door and allowed Sophia to slip in, she tripped over something and crashed to the floor.

"Oi! This closet's occupied!" a familiar voice called.

Sirius froze. "Regulus?"

There was a heavy pause.

"Sirius?" A touch of fear now colored his brother's voice.

_If Regulus is here, then that means…_ Sirius lit his wand, the white light falling upon the girl he was trying to forget, tangled up in his brother's arms.

"What the bloody hell are you two doing here?" Sirius asked angrily, unable to believe this was happening.

"Well, I think that's rather obvious," Ella hissed back, her face contorted in anger, her lips slightly swollen from kissing.

At this, both Regulus and Sophia tried to intervene. This was not going anywhere they wanted it to. But Sirius and Ella, finally confronting one another, would have none of it.

"Petrificus Totalus!" They both shouted. Sophia and Regulus froze.

Sirius whispered a spell and the door locked as Ella glared murderously at him.

"Now," he said. "Let's talk."

**0o0o0**

The smells of roast beef and sausages, mashed potatoes and golden corn, and steamed vegetables reached Lily's delicate nose. Dinner was starting. She was so hungry, her stomach groaning with emptiness. All she had to do was get Remus from the Shrieking Shack and she could tuck into the meal with the rest of her House.

She trotted quickly down the hallway, her school slung over one shoulder, banging against her side. She rushed out the door and headed towards the Whomping Willow, the rain enveloping her. She shivered involuntarily, pulled her robes tighter around her and ran faster. Dropping her things just beyond the dangerous tree, she was about to become a bird and slip into the secret entrance under those heavy swinging branches, but the sight of Remus stopped her. He was standing in the rain, his hair soaked. His head was tilted towards the heavens, his eyes closed as rain splashed down his cheeks. A look of complete ecstasy was upon his smiling face, the heavy drops sliding down his lips and dripping off his chin.

Lily stared for a moment, feeling almost embarrassed. She was intruding upon what seemed to be a quiet moment of happiness, something Remus rarely got to enjoy. As though sensing her discontent, his grey eyes suddenly opened and found her. They were clear and bright, a further sign of his happiness. His smile broadened at the sight of her.

"Lily, I was just going to look for you!" he called, his voice carrying through the tumultuous down pour. He quickly jogged over to her. "I wanted to give you your present, before we went to dinner," he said simply, a wide grin still on his face. Without giving her a chance to respond, Remus thrust his hand into his soaking robes and pulled out a small black velvet box.

Remus watched Lily, her green eyes sparkling like the raindrop on the end of her nose, her pale fingers gingerly opening the box. A knot that had formed in his stomach loosened when she smiled, her perfect teeth bright in the moonlight.

"Oh, Remus! It's beautiful!" She whispered reverently. And indeed it was. She carefully pulled from the box a silver necklace. The chain was made of tiny links, so it rippled almost like water when Lily held it in her hands. But the pendant was what she was staring at. It was a circular locket, embossed on the front with a special symbol: a crescent moon set at an angle, with a small circle or dot hovering in the cradle of the moon.

Rubbing the smooth metal of the back with her fingers, she felt a wave of warmth. Turning the locket open, Lily saw a ripple of light follow her touch, causing the warmth she had felt. In that fading ripple of light, she recognized the usual magical signs that guarded against rust, dirt, water and general damage. She also spotted an anti-theft spell and a charm that would make her unable to lose the necklace. Examining the locket further, Lily spotted tiny hinges, so small they were almost unnoticeable, that allowed the locket to open. Lily ran a hand over the inside of the left half of the locket, which reacted much like the back had. The ripple of light showed small runes that were etched into the metal; Lily saw more powerful signs this time, ones that evoked the protection of the elements. Remus had obviously worked very hard on this.

On the right side, inside the locket, there was attached a small metal bracket, under which a small note was held. Lily carefully took it from the clip as though it were the most delicate piece of parchment in the world. Written upon it, in Remus' neat hand were these simple words:

_I love you._

Though it was possibly the most basic phrase ever written, it still made Lily glow, a deep warmth spreading through her, despite the pounding rain. It was something they had said often enough, but to have it in writing seemed much more … _real_.

**0o0o0**

Remus watched Lily, her green eyes sparkling like the raindrop on the end of her nose, her pale fingers gingerly handling the necklace. The knot that had formed in his stomach loosened when she smiled, her perfect teeth bright in the moonlight. He watched her finger the necklace, delight in her face as she discovered all the spells and charms he had placed on it. When her hand alighted upon his note, he tensed a little, waiting for her reaction at his feeble attempt at expressing himself.

Unfolding the parchment, her emerald eyes flickered across the scrap and, a small tear slid down her cheek, though Remus couldn't be sure due to the rain dripping from the girl's face. She looked up, a grin on her lips and wrapped her arms around Remus so tightly he almost couldn't breathe.

"I love you, too, Remus," She whispered in his ear and he knew the gift had been a success. Prying her arms from around him, he gently took the necklace from her protective grip and fastened it around her slim neck. The silver gleamed brightly against her pale skin, looking just as perfect as Remus had hoped. After a passionate kiss in the moonlight, Lily grabbed his hand and led Remus inside.

**0o0o0**

"Where have you two been?"

Remus, Lily and Peter Pettigrew were all standing outside the Great Hall. Peter, his round chest heaving, had just discovered them. Judging by his labored breathing and his irritable tone, he had been running all over the castle looking for them. Remus opened his mouth to say something, but Peter interrupted before he got out a sound.

"It doesn't matter, anyway. Come on, we've got to hurry!"

"Where are we going?" Lily asked as Peter grabbed both their arms and started dragging them up the marble staircase.

"You'll see."

Remus and Lily exchanged glances. Remus didn't know anything about this either. They followed Peter, who refused to loosen his grip on them, down hallways and up more stairs. They passed Peeves outside an empty class room and dodged the vase he chucked at them. Finally, after more stairs, they apparently reached their destination, as Peter stopped walking. Both Lily and Remus recognized this place. They were outside the Room of Requirement, which usually was disguised as a depiction of Barnabas the Barmy. Now however, there was a heavy door on that section of wall. Peter knocked three times and a smiling face opened the door.

"Welcome, Moony! Lily! What took you?" James greeted them and swung an arm wide, presenting them the room inside.

Remus cracked another huge smile. The room was perfect for a party. Much like the Common Room, it had a large fire with five squashy arm chairs and a couch positioned around it. A large table was behind these, on which was arranged a large selection of sweets and savories as well as butter beer, pumpkin juice and an array of games. Next to that crackling fire, two sizeable, and precariously stacked, piles of presents were tottering dangerously. James, who had moved to lean casually against the table, smiled at Lily.

"Happy Birthday!" he said as his hazel eyes sparkled.

"Oh, guys, it's wonderful!" Lily gushed, trying to ignore James staring at her again.

"It's for you too, mate," Peter told Remus.

"You guys are too much!" Remus added. "You really didn't have to do this!"

The other Marauder grinned. "Well, we did, so let's party!" James retorted.

"But wait," Remus said. "Where's Sirius?"

James looked around. "He's still not here?" Everybody shook their heads. He shrugged.

"I told him when and where the party was, so I don't know where he is." James grinned "Who wants to go ask Sophia?"

Nobody volunteered. They all figured Sirius would show up eventually.

And so, they celebrated. Remus and Lily played a couple games of Exploding Snap, while James tried to balance the entire bowl of chocolate frogs on his nose and inevitably dropped them. After rounding up all the frogs and stunning them to stop their frantic hopping, a chess tournament started up of which Remus was proclaimed the undisputed winner. Later, birthday presents were opened. Lily had gotten perfume from James, a diary from Sirius (James had brought over his presents earlier) and a bag of treats from Honeyduke's from Peter. Her parents had sent a new jumper (bottle green, to match her eyes) and her sister had sent a disappointing card and some oven mitts. Why Petunia thought Lily would be needing oven mitts any time in the near future was beyond Remus, but Lily just shrugged and turned to unwrap her last present, a set of new quills from Ella's mother.

Remus opened his next. Peter had given him a new book about defense magic, while James had gotten him a bag of Zonko's merchandise. His parents had sent a new blanket (his mother liked to quilt). And finally, Sirius had given him a dog collar.

Holding up the spiky black leather circle, Remus cringed and said "Is he serious?"

**0o0o0**

Remus sank onto his bed, tired but very happy. The party had ended just after midnight. Sneaking back to the Gryffindor Tower hadn't been hard, given that they had an invisibility cloak, the Marauder's Map, and that two of them could change into very inconspicuous animals.

Lily's birthday had definitely been a huge success. His present had gone over wonderfully, better than he had ever hoped. And the party, though unexpected, had capped off the evening perfectly. Everyone was happy

_Everyone except for Sirius, that is. He never made it. _Remus thought. Sirius had been moping for weeks, but Remus had thought he would have at least made some sort of appetence at his party. No one knew where he had gone and from the lack of snoring across the room, it seemed he wasn't even in his bed.

_What is going on with him?_

**A/N: Wow. This is actually rather long (about 8.5 pages in Microsoft Word). So, school's almost over and then it's back to camp. We'll see if I can get any writing done there. I love you all, thank you for sticking with me this far (only a few chapters left!)**


	16. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14: What Are We Going To Do?_

_**CRASH!**_

"What the bloody hell was…. Sirius, is that you?"

Remus raised himself enough to look over his bed. James, the one who had spoken, was sitting up in his own bed, staring wide eyed across the room. Remus followed his gaze.

There, framed by the window, crouched Sirius Black, though the name no longer suited him. The pale moonlight illuminated the fact that his famous coal black locks where no longer black. They were bright red, with streaks of a clashing pink mixed in. Cringing, Sirius waited for the humiliation he knew would come.

The noise of his entrance had been caused by Peter's collection of moving Quidditch figures, which Sirius had somehow knocked over. Tiny yelps of pain and indignation issued from their mouths. The initial crash, the following crash of Remus falling out of bed and the miniscule curses coming from the floor had woken the other boys. All eyes lay on the boy in front of the window. After a moment of terrible silence, everyone present (except Sirius, of course) decided they weren't dreaming this comical scene and the room erupted in laughter. James joined Remus on the floor, shaking with delight. Remus' eyes were streaming in his effort to keep in the giggles (a plan which failed miserably). Only Peter showed any sense of restraint (he laughed at half the volume of the others), but this was only because he feared for the safety of his figurines.

Sirius dropped to the floor (he sat on a few Chudley Cannons players) and tried to cover his head, but this only made it worse. Apparently, the streaks in his hair changed color every couple of minutes. Now they were a deep navy blue.

The boys' laughter renewed. This time, James had to shove his fist in his mouth to stop.

"It's really not funny. It's not funny at all," Sirius whispered a hint of wetness in his voice.

Remus tried to sober up. "Of course it's not funny, mate," he managed. "But, if you don't mind me asking, what the bloody hell _happened_ to you?"

Sirius, still on the floor and still refusing to meet the others eyes, told his sad tale. He told them about finding Ella and Regulus in the broom closet and how he and Ella had both frozen the other two and locked the door to talk. Unfortunately, this talk became another argument and the row was so bad that Ella had pulled out her wand and hit him where it hurt: his hair.

"_Ella_ did this?" James asked, a small amount of awe on his face. He lifted a hand to touch the new ginger hair that clashed so badly with his friend's skin tone, but Sirius slapped it away.

"Yes, she did. And before you say it, Remus, I already asked her to undo it. I said I was sorry, I groveled and I begged but she said I deserved what I got." Sirius hung his head in despair.

"Well, mate, I hate to say it," Remus said quietly, "but she's right. You've had this coming for a while. I mean, she _did_ find you cheating on her and you two never really talked about it, so guess she never got over it."

"But I wasn't cheating on her! Sophia just came up and started snogging me and touching me! I was so surprised; I couldn't do a thing about it!" Sirius moaned in exasperation.

"Well," ventured Peter, "did you ever bother to tell Ella that?"

"I tried, but she wouldn't listen! And besides," Sirius got up and sat down on the edge of Peter's bed, his eyes downcast, his new locks falling in his face, "She wouldn't have believed me even if I had told her."

"But I still don't get why you didn't even talk to her about it," Remus said. "I know you're not really into sharing your feelings and everything, but I thought you really cared about her."

"I did! I do!" Sirius exclaimed. "It's just…. She was just so mad, you know? And so was I. I was angry at her for not letting me explain, at myself for not chasing after her… and then it was too late. Sophia was there so I just followed her lead and that just made things worse. And the one time I try to fix it, she turns my hair red!" Sirius flopped back onto the bed, apparently to worn out from the nights events to sit up straight.

"What am I going to do?" He asked quietly.

No one had an answer.

**0o0o0**

The weeks passed, May turning into June. Sirius hair stayed a brilliant red for many days, the colored streaks changing every few minutes. Needless to say, the Slytherins had a field day. Lily caught Ella with a satisfied smirk on her face more than a few times. Slowly the magic faded and by the last week of school his hair was back to normal, though the occasional lock flickered pink every once in a while. However, both Ella and Sirius quit their revenge relationships. Sophia and Regulus were left out in the cold without any explanation. It seemed a small truce, at least in that respect, had formed.

**0o0o0**

The moon was rising; Remus could feel it. It pulled at his blood, his whole being like it pulled at the ocean, drawing Remus to follow it into the night. The soft light fell through the dirty window, demanding change. His body complied, his skin rippling as the transformation washed through him, the pain drowning out his screams. Slowly, it faded, leaving behind matted fur and sharpened senses. Remus, now Moony, opened his eyes, his irises changing from bright red to a soft grey as he saw the other creatures in a circle around him. He recognized them as his strange pack.

The night air was warm, inviting the pack outside. The trees streaked past as the creatures ran about, playing tag and hide and seek in the forest as a white bird flitted high in the canopy above. As the wolf howled in delight and the dog barked in response, the bird flew in more complicated patters, her loops and dives bringing her dangerously near to a sharp, spiky branch. In one last swoop, she flew a little too close. A thorn, long and jagged left a bloody cut in its wake. Surprised by the sudden pain, the bird floated slowly towards the earth, landing in front of the wolf. He sniffed, concerned. Leaning in, he licked the wound, trying to help his fallen pack mate.

That one taste of blood was too much.

Grey flashed to red and a hungry howl escaped the wolf's throat. In the next second, the bird in his mouth, her white feathers stained crimson. He shook her, growling.

And then the bird was dropped on the ground, as the stag rammed into the wolf. They grappled together, antlers and hoofs against claws and slashing teeth. The dog joined in and soon he was chasing the wolf into the woods as the stag changed back into a boy and ran to the bird, whose shape was flickering between human and animal.

The rat had disappeared.

James crouched next to the limp body on the ground. She had almost changed back completely; one arm was still morphed into an oversized wing. Blood was everywhere.

"Lily…." The sound came out choked. This couldn't be happening.

Quickly, he felt for a pulse. It was so faint, it almost wasn't there. But James took a small grain of hope from the weak beat of her blood against his fingertips. She wasn't dead.

Yet.

**A/N: Intense, huh? How's that for I'm not leaving you hanging for long. I'm writing the next chapter right now and will post it soon, after everyone reads this. R&R please!**


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